#not sure where moon would go...maybe also a cello

[itsahotsecondafter]

hdhdhdjd sorry if its feels like im being annoying or condescending. im not!! the "eclipse liking the cello" part was a reference to that one piece you did of solar playing the cello!! not surebif that was clear enough if so my bad sjhddj,,, but that solar piece lives in my head rent free for some reason idk why but i think about it!!! a lot!! no cluebwhy but yippeee!!!!

OH! NO SORRY THAT MAKES SENSE-I WAS THINKING ABOUT THAT POST WHEN I READ IT (my brain caught the tone of the thing but I kept thinking it was in reference to a specific piece and not the instrument for some reason-) BUT I DIDN'T WANT TO ASSUME IT WAS ABOUT THAT CUZ YOU MENTIONED ECLIPSE (and I don't wanna assume stuff about people's aus cuz that doesn't usually end well...) BUT THANK YOU FOR THE REFERENCE! AND THE EXPLANATION (i'm chronically stupid sorry)

i kinda wanna redraw that one actually cuz it doesn't look the way i wanted it to-but-uh- thanks! for mentioning me! and for clarifying!

[depressionisreal1996]

The Traumatized Omega

Chapter 8

Bold and Underlined=POV Change

Underlined=Line Break

Bold=TV Script

Italics=Thoughts

Bold, Underlined, and Italics=Vision

Y/N's POV

       I was just laying down, thinking why Wednesday wanted me to escape the therapy session with her. It just doesn't seem like her to want others with her. I am thankful that she did let me, but I'm so confused. I need to talk to Enid about this, maybe she'll have some advice on what to do. I also need to make sure she doesn't gossip about it either. I love that girl, but she is a gossip queen, and in my opinion the gossip queen. I'm really falling in love with Wednesday Addams, and I hope she accepts me as her mate, even when I tell her about my past.

       Before I could finish my thought, I heard someone playing the cello, and it was very beautiful. I love instruments like the cello, and I have a feeling on who is playing it. So, with that thought I got up to go over to Enid's and Wednesday's room to listen to her better. On my way there, I ran into Enid, so we just walked together.

Wednesday's POV

       I was just finishing up playing my cello, when Thing asked me if I feel better.

       "No, I don't really feel better," I replied to him, "there's just something wrong about this place. Not just because it's a school."

       Just then the door to the balcony opened and revealed Enid and Y/N. They walked over to us.

       "How the hell did you get that oversized violin out the window," Enid asked. I saw Y/N glare at her, and shaking her head.

       "I-i-i-it's a ce-ce-ce-cello E-e-e-enid," she told Enid with a tone that says that she was offended by the comment. This almost made me smile at how cute she was being.

       "I had an extra hand," I told her, with Thing showing himself. Enid looked at him with awe and slight fear.

       "Whoa. Where's the rest of him," she asked, coming closer.

       "It's one of the great Addams family mysteries," I told her. Then we heard howling in the distance. It's the full moon, so the werewolves have turned, but Enid is also a werewolf. She didn't turn, so I'm intrigued.

       "Why aren't you wolfing out," I asked her. She looked down in what I assume is sadness.

       "Because I can't," she replied, then she extended her nail towards me, "it's all I got. My mom says some wolves are late bloomers, but I've been to the best Lycanologist. I had to fly to Milwaukee, would you believe it. Yeah, she says there's a chance I may never..... you know."

       "What happens then," I inquired.

       "I'd become a lone wolf," she told me, still looking down. Y/N just walked over to her to comfort her, which didn't sit well with me.

       "Sounds perfect," I told her, but Y/N just glared at me. I don't understand why, as being alone, well not completely alone with her, is a bad thing.

       "Are you kidding me? My life would be officially over," she told me, with slight anger in her voice, "I'd be kicked out of my family pack with no prospect of finding a mate."

       "I'm failing to see the problem here," I said, confused why someone wants to be with other people. I saw Y/N roll her eyes, and I had to hold my anger in, as she shouldn't be concerned about Enid at all, only me.

       "I could die alone," she replied.

       "We all die alone, Enid," I said.

       "You really suck at this. Cheering people up," she said, then started to silently cry.

       "Why are you crying," I asked her, completely uncomfortable with the situation.

       "Because I'm upset," she told me, raising her voice a little bit, "haven't you ever cried, or are you above that too?"

       "It was the week after Halloween. I was six years old," I replied, and I don't know why I was telling her about this. Y/N also was listening as well, "I took my pet scorpion, Nero, out for his afternoon stroll, and we were ambushed. They wondered what kind of freak would have a scorpion for a pet. Two of them held me down and made me watch.... while the others ran Nero over until.... It was snowing when I buried what was left of him. I cried my little black heart out. But tears don't fix anything, so I vowed to never do it again."

       Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Y/N holding her mouth, with tears rolling down her face. I could also sense that she was very pissed off (I was also pissed off, I do not condone animal abuse and I wish I could legally hunt animal abusers down).

       "Your secret's safe with us. Still think you're weird as shit, though," Enid said.

       "The feeling is incredibly mutual," I replied, and I saw Y/N smile, "how would you like your single room back? You just need to show me how to use your computer."

       I saw Y/N with a frown, so I walked up to her and whispered in her ear.

       "I'm taking you with me, I don't think I can survive without your," I told her. To this she beamed and nodded her head.

Narrator's POV

       Now we see Thing crawling up someone's house. He crawled up to the window and knocked on it. Inside, we see Tyler walking towards his window to investigate the knocking at his window. He opened the window, when Thing crawled inside which caused Tyler to startle.

       "Holy shit," he exclaimed. He got his bat to swing at Thing. Thing just crawled, dodging the bat, until he got to the desk. He then got a hold of the bat and threw it away. He showed his palm, which had a message from Wednesday to call her.

       "Okay, I'm taking orders from a hand. This isn't weird at all," he said, and proceeded to do what Thing showed him.

Wednesday's POV

       I heard the computer ring, so I went up to answer. After looking for the button to answer, I finally saw Tyler.

       "Uh... hi," he said, looking off to the side.

       "That's Thing," I told me, and nodded at that.

       "Is he, like, your pet," he asked, though this caused me to be mad at him, but I wouldn't show that. I also heard Thing flipping him off.

       "He's sensitive," I told him, which was true.

       "Look, I know Nevermore is ground zero for all things weird," he said, "but this is next-level. So, what happened to not wanting to be a slave to technology"

       "Desperate time. Are you still willing to help me escape," I asked him.

       "After what happened today, I figured they'd have you in solitary," he told me.

       "There's the Harvest Festival this weekend," I replied, "attendance is mandatory. I'm going to use it as a cover. If you're willing to drive me to the station, I can make it worth your while."

       "I'm in. And no charge," he told me, though I was confused why he would do this with no charge, "consider it a freebie."

       "Why," I asked.

       "Cause I wish I was going with you," he said in a serious tone, "at least one of us will get out of this hellhole town."

[aurieeeeeenyx]

thanks for the tag, @veneritia :D

30 QUESTIONS: get to know me!

1. name/nickname: nyx (i also go by aurie cuz lol my url...haha...)

2. gender: uhhh good question *sweats* i generally use the label gnc (gender non-conforming) tho i think i also like agender? still figuring that out sjfjnabs (i use all pronouns btw; i like when multiple pronouns are used for me, though if you want to use one pronoun for me they/them is good)

3. star sign: gemini (don't know what moon and rising are)

4. height: you'll never know

5. time: too late to be doing my laundry that's for sure (jk it's late afternoon as of writing this...but i have been procrastinating doing laundry for the past four hours)

6. birthday: ;)

7. favorite band: the score

8. favorite solo artist: alec benjamin probably??? tbh i haven't listened to his stuff in a while but he's good go check out his music :) i mostly listen to random music that shows up in my recommended sdjfhds

9. song stuck in my head: all of them /j most recently maybe "i'm gonna win" by rob cantor tho honestly i always have at least 4 songs looping in my head at any given time /hj

10. last movie: howl's moving castle

11. last show: no idea; i don't think i've watched any recently, tho i have been thinking of rewatching atla

12. when i created this blog: april 2020 iirc

13. what i post: literally anything. this blog is just full of reblogs of random stuff (especially fandom related things for whatever fandom i've inevitably fallen into lmao) and the occasional creation of my own (art, animation, writing, etc)

14. last thing i googled: naginata

15. other blogs: i have a writing-only blog, @/aurienyx, which is...kinda dead, honestly. usually i post whatever to this blog, and then if it's writing (like Actual writing, and also original writing only-ish) then i'll reblog it to that blog. this blog was originally supposed to be a side blog but then...well, here we are (i post fics/drabbles and stuff to this blog only cuz yeah this one's more fandom-oriented; i think i post fic updates to the other one though)

16. do i get asks? rarely, but yes! i love getting asks, so feel free to send me one anytime :D

(getting long so the rest is under the cut!)

17. why i chose my url: oh boy. time for an explanation nobody asked for but i'm gonna give it anyways >:) a saga in three parts:

1, my url for this blog (aurieeeeeenyx) has 6 e's because it stems from the original (aurienyx), and that's because it was originally supposed to be a sideblog/joke-y blog—being unoriginal (/hj), i decided to stretch the vowels cuz that's what meme subreddits did and i thought it would be funny

2, the name "aurienyx" has two parts: "aurie" and "nyx". "aurie" is cuz i take latin, and "aureus" is "gold (coin)" in latin and like. that's cool (also we used to do this thing in class where we'd give ourselves names in latin and mine was "aurelius/a"). "aurenyx" looked funky to me so i stuck an "i" in there and that was that. the "nyx" part is where it gets fun: i used to be (and still kinda am) a mythology geek thanks, pjo/hoo and i always liked the name "nix/nyx", so i was like ah yes goddess of night nyx that's great—BUT i also really like(d) phoenixes so i was like aha! double whammy! and then i mixed them together and here we are

3, the less important part, "aurienyx" is a fairly short name with three distinct syllables and therefore easier to remember so like. branding or something ig (i didn't think abt this til after lmao) (this doesn't apply much to the url for this blog cuz it's loooooong)

so that's why! thank you for coming to my ted talk—

18. following: 256

19. followers: 129

20. average hours of sleep: .....don't attack me like this (not enough, clearly /j)

21. lucky numbers: don't really have them, but maybe 3 and 8?

22. instruments: piano, and i'm currently teaching myself (ish) ukulele! :D used to play oboe and cello but unfortunately not anymore...maybe i'll get back into cello someday (also thinking about learning guitar but uh 6 strings brain says no thank you /lh)

23. what am i wearing: right now i'm wearing a grey shirt/hoodie thing and black shorts

24. dream job: no idea/don't really have one; would love to be a part-time author though...kinda (i just wanna be able to create things for fun on the side ig)

25. favorite food: potatoes, maybe? they're so versatile it's great. but there's a lot of foods contesting for the spot so who knows

26. ?

27. nationality: :)

28. favorite song: oh god don't ask me this i can't chooooooose (but recently, probably "favorite color is blue" by robert delong ft k. flay... or maybe "revenge, and a little more" by unlike pluto... or maybe—)

29. last book i read: uhh besides an ungodly amount of fics i think the last book i actually finished was none of the above by i. w. gregorio. it was alright, though i wasn't really a fan. there's several other books i started but haven't finished reading, including (but not limited to) leviathan by scott westerfield, song of achilles by madeline miller, vicious by v.e. schwab, the night circus by erin morgernstern, the raven boys by maggie stiefvater....the list goes on

30. top 3 fictional universes i would like to live in: that's....really hard, honestly. i don't know, but if i had to choose: 1, harry potter bc i wanna explore hogwarts dammit; 2, the world in the game monument valley cuz wow those graphics are so pretty (the world of sky: children of the light too); and 3, this wonderland-based world i created a couple months ago lol (yes i'm biased but also i did a Lot of worldbuilding and i think it's really cool >:>)

tagging: @charlesjosephwrites, @belialwrites, @ryns-ramblings, @oasis-of-you, @djthedumbass, @iwantadamusername, @kittycatinblue, and anyone who wants to join :D

[thefoulbeast]

Monstrum Malum (Evil Monster)

It’s finally october!! U know what that means!! Aoextober!! I’ve been waiting to be able to post this hahhhahahaa… some good ole soft horror in the spirit of the month of scary… I’ll also put it up on ao3 soon…

Characters: Todou Saburota, That demon he had at first, Todou Homare (mentioned). Contents: Violence & gore, monsters, memory manipulation, surrealism (or is it derealisation? basically we got some weird stuff going on), elements of horror. Rating: Teen & up. Word count: 2 888.

__________

It’s all a little fuzzy, this far back in his memories…

According to family tradition, Saburota receives his temptaint at ten years old. It’s scary beyond belief – the sudden grotesque presences that await him at every turn.

There’s a thick black snake on the teacher’s desk that watches him, a cat with two heads and three tails and no skin that doesn’t meow as much as it yells, spidery, shadowy hands that wave at him from dark corners and alleyways, always beckoning closer in silent invitation.

The horrible sounds of screaming and crying at night he can’t drown out no matter what he tries to do.

He doesn’t understand how his father and brothers and – everyone, really- can just ignore it all, can just pretend like it’s all normal and okay.

Though, he supposes it’s not too implausible – their ability to ignore things is quite remarkable. One time they pretended he didn’t exist for a whole week – and honestly, he’d been questioning his existence himself by the end of it.

But the problem is these… demons. These ghosts and spectres that follow him and distract him and terrify him.

Saburota tries to focus on the page in front of him – a test in maths that he’s writing in pencil because his pen is bleeding red blood – an ever-growing puddle over the surface of his desk that never reaches his papers and drips over the edge with quiet plips.

The numbers in the problems tilt and tumble and his hands are tingling. But if he focuses just so- if he can keep them in his mind long enough, he can do this.

Pit-pat… Pit-pat…

The blood drips steadily down onto the floor. No one else notices it.

–

“Oh, come now! You’ll get used to it,” his aunt says when she sees him flinch back from a dark mass that covers the floor like a living carpet, undulating and scintillating and breathing.

She walks right over it, and the black sticks to the heels of her shiny beige pumps like tar – but she doesn’t even seem to notice-

“Come on, Saburota, let’s go,” she pulls him by the arm, stronger than he can dig his heels into the ground. The black thing is unpleasantly soft under his feet. He feels it writhe.

“Don’t be so obstinate, we’ll be late to the opera!” she huffs, exasperated, “Honestly, you’d think a boy your age would have some manners.”

The black clings to the bottom of their soles without end even after they’ve crossed all of it and are out on the street, spreading out from every point of contact their shoes make with the ground, melting together to form a winding, snakelike path.

“What show are we going to see?” he asks cautiously, trying to distract himself.

“Three dead men and the devil, of course” she answers haughtily, “Why, Saburota, it’s as if you’re trying to irritate me on purpose! You’re the one who wanted to go!”

He did?

“Oh, I remember now!” he says, but it’s a lie, it’s his mouth moving on its own, “I hope it’s as good as the reviews promise!” he says again, a giddy edge to the words- but they’re not his words.

“It will be,” his aunt answers with a mysterious sort of smile, her hand tightening around his wrist.

–

Saburota’s hiding under the bed, curled up in the dark. It seems like no matter how much he shrinks down; he still feels watched, still feels threatened. Feels like he’s not alone, like there’s something else inside him.

The door opens and footsteps make their way over to the bed – but they’re sharp, like knocking wood on wood, and so loud.

Saburota holds his breath when hooves come into view right in front of him. Fear is like a bird trapped in his chest, raging desperately against the bars of his ribs.

Whatever it is climbs up on his bed with an ominous sqeak of the springs and a decidedly animal huff.

“Oh, you’re already in bed, honey?” the voice of his mother speaks from the doorway. She all but floats over soundlessly. Her skin is deathly pale and dry beneath the hem of her nightgown.

“I’m scared, mommy,” the thing says in a voice that’s nowhere near Saburota’s own. “I think there’s a monster under my bed.”

“Monsters don’t exist, silly,” she coos, “but I’ll look and make sure for you, alright?”

She gets down on all fours and peers beneath the bed. Her unseeing eyes look straight at and through Saburota. Her face is as pale and bloodless as her feet and hands, a greenish-blueish tinge to her lips and eyelids.

“There’s nothing here, honey,” she says in her beautiful, sonorous voice. Her smile reveals her teeth that look much longer and sharper now that the gums have dried out and shrunk back.

Then she rises again and says, “Now, will you be a good boy and sleep? We have a busy day tomorrow. You need to be ready to do what has to be done.” She kisses the thing sweetly goodnight before leaving, footsteps as soundless as when she entered. The door closes behind her, and so disappears that last bit of illumination the room had.

The darkness left behind feels like it’s eating Saburota whole, encompassing him in a tight and claustrophobic space. He reaches out to prove the feeling wrong, but the darkness is smooth and solid against his hand, pushing up against it with incrementally increasing force.

“You don’t have much time left down there, do you?” the thing up on the bed asks, soft and sleepy. It yawns. “You know, God can’t see you anymore, and neither can most other things.”

The darkness pushes up against his skin, too tight to move, too tight to breathe.

–

They’re in the main hall. A soft record plays in the background, a gentle but somber croon accompanied by a saxophone and a cello.

“You know they don’t exist,” the shadow sitting across from Saburota at the dinner table says, “right?”

It’s gesturing at his family, where they’re chatting amongst themselves as they eat. At the other, farther end of the table – it’s farther than usual. The table is as long as the room as opposed to taking up just the center.

There are so many empty seats. So many set plates, untouched. Like there’s supposed to be a banquet, but no one’s shown up.

Saburota stares down at his plate. The soup is black and thick, and there’s the smooth off-white surface of a bone peeking out from beneath the surface.

He’s not particularly hungry.

“You’re wrong,” he tells the shadow quietly ad he pushes the plate away, and the damn thing laughs in response. It’s fuzzy and translucent, and smears in Saburota’s vision when it moves.

“Oh, my bad!” the shadow chortles and picks up a knife, and twirls it around the fingers of its hand; the gleaming facets of the blade catch red and orange lights from some strange and unknown source, “You’re the one who doesn’t exist, I meant to say. Easy mistake to make.”

Saburota feels goose bumps break out over his body. A cold gust of wind whistles over the edge of his collar, ruffling the back of his hair. He places one of his palms protectively over his nape, feeling unsafe.

The room is colourless now, and his family sounds all muffled - and the shadow is gone. He shivers, then takes a fortifying breath and reaches for the spoon again, hand trembling minutely.

Saburota lifts a spoonful of the simple noodle soup to his mouth hesitantly. It doesn’t seem like there’s anything wrong with it, but… he’s just got this nagging worry that something isn’t right.

–

“I see right through you,” the creature says hotly in his ear, “you’re little more than smoke - a miasma leaking through the cracks of the skin you wear.”

Saburota stares at it through the mirror. It’s taller than him, wider than him, has horns like an ibex and hands like eagle claws, poised up in the air, talons glinting menacingly.

“Poor little Saburota,” it hisses, leaning in even closer, snake tongue peeking through its teeth on the ‘s’. “So damaged and twisted that no one could ever like you. You empty little puppet, you pathetic fucking piece of shit.”

Saburota shrugs at its words. They sound about right. It’s what he’s heard all his life, what he’s thought all his life. A truth confirmed over and over.

“You should bite them back for making you,” it says with a beastly leer, talons wrapping around his shoulders and digging in, drawing blood in small beads, “Make them regret your existence. Teach them what it means to hurt. You want to. You need to. I’ll help you. I’ll make you strong, I’ll make you dangerous.”

There’s a certain desperation to the thing’s words.

“Maybe someday,” Saburota murmurs, stepping forwards - out of the creature’s embrace towards the sink, heedless of the shallow wounds left behind by the drag of its talons. He needs to brush his teeth and get to bed.

The bathroom darkens and the walls and floor wobble dangerously, like light broken on the edge of water, like matter passing through the planes of a prism and coming out wrong.

“You’re ready,” the creature wails, upset at his coy evasions of what needs to be done.

“No, I’m-“ he stammers. God, everything here looks so fake it makes him nauseous. He needs to- he needs to set himself straight. Needs to recalibrate.

”I’m not ripe yet,” Saburota says gently, cautiously - looking at the beast without turning, eyes dark like the sky on the night of a new moon.

–

Father’s saying something to him. He looks angry. He’s gesticulating like crazy.

Saburota can’t hear it. The sound’s muted. Pure silence.

No, not pure… there’s something whispering in his ear. It takes a moment for him to understand what it’s saying…

Saburota feels a smile spread out over his face at the promises of violence, bloodshed, nasty ugly retribution-

The world seems sharper somehow. Like it’s come into focus after being blurry and vague for his entire life.

Saburota looks at his hands. He’s got claws – mean, nasty looking things, the kind that maim and rip and rend. When did that happen?

The little whispering voice giggles in his ear. I’ll give you this. I’ll give you this if you just let me-

–

“I’ve been cultivating you for years,” the thing says, looking down at him from its full height. The creature is menacing, attention catching, terrifying. “You’d be nothing without me. You’d be small and powerless and pathetic.”

Its arms wrap around his shoulders covetously, possessively. The talons sink into the flesh of Saburota’s deltoids like a butcher’s knife sinks into a hunk of meat.

“You’re all mine,” the thing whispers, opening its maw to reveal row upon dizzying row of teeth arranged in a beautiful rosette. Saburota touches a tooth and pricks his finger.

Blood red. Drops on the floor. He smears them with the toe of his shoe and suddenly realises.

Oh, what a clever thing. Had him really going for a while.

“No, I’m not,” Saburota says, something in his voice dark but… whistful and dreamy. “You did nice this time, I’ll give you that. Too bad you’re so slow with it all,” he says, and reality shifts.

Well, the not-reality shifts. Saburota’s holding the thing – a squirming little creature with a long leathery tail, smaller than ever and…

And perfect for eating.

–

He’s not afraid anymore. Despite the thing’s attempts – this particular memory remains unchanged, remains his fully. So far.

There’s carnage all around – his family, the house staff – mutilated sacks of meat, strewn about carelessly, all carved up and bled out.

Saburota can taste it – the metallic tang of something raw clinging to his palate, the edges of his teeth.

He knows what he did. He knows how he did it. But… he’d been too excited, too in-the-moment about it. It’s all a red haze in hindsight.

“Well, this was easier than expected,” he says, all light and happy and unburdened.

“You finally did it,” Homare says as she watches him from the top of the stairs, her face a blank mask.

“You’re free now,” Saburota says with a wide grin, “This power could be yours too, Homare.”

It slips off his tongue like a well-oiled phrase. This isn’t the first time he’s said this.

“Why won’t you let me out, Saburota?” she says in someone else’s voice. Shadows cling to her, making her larger and darker than what she is. The beast is here again, messing with his mind and senses. “Why must you deny me so? You can’t hold me down forever. I will claw my way out.”

The house is dark and crawling with black shapes and bugs the size of rats. Saburota feels his mood sour. That’s not right, that’s not what she really said.

Homare’s walking down the stairs towards him, heedless of the gore she steps in, looking at him like she wants him to burst open like an over-tense bulla.

“Kill yourself, Saburota, you worthless fucking heap,” the thing says, even if it’s Homare’s lips that move, “Getting all cocky and full of yourself. You will regret it. I will make you regret it.”

Saburota smiles lazily, “You’re just throwing a tantrum because I’m stronger than you. Tsk-tsk. You’d think that demons had more class than that.”

Saburota flicks open the zippo in his hand, and the smell of buthane hits him above the wet smell of fresh guts. His hands are shaking, his heart is racing. There’s a cacophonous screaming in his head above it all.

“Let me out, Saburota,” the thing says through Homare’s lips, low and thunderous and so angry, “Let me out and let me in for real.”

Saburota flicks the wheel and sparks the flame, looking right into Homare’s eyes where he sees it looking at him.

He drops the zippo carelessly, ignoring the beast’s words. This – all of this is his.

And he’s going to burn it all down.

–

Saburota wakes with a jolt that has the water sloshing against the sides of the tub. He’d dozed off again.

The nightmarish pictures of his dream fizzle out into the subconscious part of his brain. The phantasms are creeping upwards again, seeking to dig their claws into his more recent memories.

He sighs tiredly, rubbing a palm over his face. It had taken him too long to notice. Next time the demon might get him for good. He rests a palm over his stomach where he feels it like a hot, familiar weight in his gut. So small, so stubborn, so bothersome.

Saburota can’t remember his childhood clearly anymore, not the way it really was. His recollections are all twisted and maimed, cut up and pasted together into tid-bit horror stories and fantastical exaggerations, much like the dream had been.

It comes with being a demon eater. There’s a certain cost, a sacrifice he has to make in the form of his memories and occasionally, his personality. One can only hold on to darkness for so long until it grabs back.

Saburota barely ever sleeps anymore. Whenever he dreams, the distortions get worse and feel more real.

Realistically, he knows there wasn’t a dead man lying on the table and singing at Homare’s tenth birthday party… he knows that his mother died in childbirth when she had her last pregnancy, that he’d never heard her voice and had only ever seen her in pictures… but he can remember these delusions so very vividly it’s kind of scary.

“Your brain’s rotting…” He tells himself in a low voice. Then, he chuckles,” Heh, who knows if what’s left is even you anymore…” He pauses, moving his hand through the water, watching it slosh against the sides of the tub.

He’s awake, sure, but he still feels like he’s dreaming, like this isn’t reality. Another chuckle, a little more self-deprecating, “Good thing that won’t matter soon enough.”

Saburota sinks lower into the water so that his nose just above the surface. The water’s lukewarm now, so it doesn’t seep into his bones and muscles the way he wishes it would.

He’ll get out in a minute and get dressed and do things, but for now he just… ruminates. On what he is. On what he’s done.

He doesn’t regret his choices, but… sometimes he wonders what life would be like if he was… more normal. If he’d never clashed with his family the way he had… if he’d just…

Well, whatever. Those thoughts don’t lead anywhere.

He’s made it this far – that’s the only thing that matters. He just needs to pull through and do his part in getting the phoenix for the Illuminati. He’s been planning it for years now, sowing doubt and trust in the right places, and it’s finally so close he can taste it.

That’s his purpose now. That’s what’s important. He has a goal and a purpose, and he is needed. With that much, he’s satisfied.

As long as he does what he needs to do for the Illuminati, for The Commander, what happens to him afterwards doesn’t really matter…

[connordavidscamera]

First Date | Connor Brashier

A/n: this is a repost from my Shawn account!! This is my piece and is not stolen. 

Summary: neither of you are ready for this night to end. So what if it didn’t?

Warnings: switches POVs

Word count: 2.3k

***

“The night’s still young,” Connor says, looking at the clock on the dashboard.

I rest my head in the palm of my hand and look up at him, “What should we do?”

“We could just drive around. I’ve still got a full tank of gas if you’re down.”

I check the charge on my phone, it’s still at eighty percent, so I shrug. “Okay. Let’s do it. Where to?”

“Nowhere. Everywhere. You pick. Don’t even think about it. Just say the first thing that pops into your head.”

I nod. “Okay.”

“One… two… three.”

“The beach.” We say at the same time.

He smiles, “Then I guess we’re going to the beach.”

I shake my head, “Connor, the closest one is like two hours away.”

“Then I guess you should tell your roommate that something came up and you’re not going home tonight.”

I gape at him. 

“What?” He asks with a chuckle and I notice just how beautiful he is when he laughs.

“What are we even doing?” I ask in disbelief.

He turns on his signal light and merges into the empty lane next to us. “We’re having fun. Come on, it’s one night. Just do something crazy with me. Let’s go out to the water and watch the sun come up.”

“You’re insane, you know that?”

“I do.”

“This could get us in trouble.”

“With who?” He laughs and takes the hand that is currently holding my head in place. “Y/n, it’s no big deal. But… if it’s really bothering you, I don’t mind taking you back to your apartment. We can call it a night and I’ll take you out to the beach for our second date.” The sincerity in his voice makes me melt. But all I could focus on was that he wants to go on a second date with me.

I don’t say anything for a while, chewing on the inside of my cheek. 

“Well, what’s the verdict? I can get off at the next exit if you want.”

I don’t realize it, but I shake my head. “Keep going.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah,” I place our laced hands in my lap. “I want to.”

“Okay,” Connor beams and focuses back on the road in front of us. “I guess you better get comfortable, we’ve got a long drive ahead of us.”

I’m good just like this, I think but can’t bring myself to say as I smile stupidly at our joined hands. I feel him glance over at me again and I involuntarily shrink under his gaze. 

By midnight we’re cuddled up on the hood of his truck with coffee and snacks, talking about everything under the stars. 

“So wait, you were how old?” He asks, dumbfounded.

“I was six when I first started playing piano and was classically trained by eight. I can also play guitar, harp, cello, and the drums.”

He stares at me in amazement. “You're… wow. You’re fucking phenomenal.”

I shrug off the compliment, “I wouldn’t say all that.”

“You don’t have to. I just did.” He nudges my shoulder with his and smiles down at me. “What other hidden talents do you have?”

I hum and look up at the dark, never ending sky, lit by the moon and stars. “I did ballet for six years. From age nine to fifteen. I hated it.”

“What else?” His chin rests on his arms which rest on his knees. He’s so eager to get to know me and I don’t know what to do about that. I wasn’t used to the attention.

My face burns, “I, uh, have a tattoo. My parents know nothing about it. They’re really strict about that kind of stuff." 

"What is it? Where is it?”

I tuck my hair behind my ear. “Let’s go for a swim.”

“What?”

I slide off the hood of his truck and shrug off my cardigan. “Let’s go swimming.” I kick out of my sandals and place them over my discarded cardigan. 

“The water has to be at least negative three degrees.”

My jeans are next to go. He’s not at all fazed that I’m stripping right in front of him. “There’s only one way to find out.” I lift my shirt from my chest, revealing my rib tattoo, just peeking from under my red lace bra. “You coming or what?” I wink at him before turning around, skipping toward the ocean. 

The sound of his feet hitting the ground makes me smile. I’m thigh deep in the cold water before he catches up with me. “This is crazy, you know that?”

“Well how do you expect to drive all the way to the beach to not even get in the water?”

Connor chuckles and takes my hands. I stare up at him, smiling wide. “You have the most adorable smile.”

I bite my lip and look down at the water crashing against us. “Yeah? Well yours isn’t so bad, either.”

He boops my nose and I scrunch up my face. “You’re so cute.”

“Shut up.”

“No,” he shakes his head, “I mean it. You are downright adorable and I think… I could probably spend every waking moment with you if you let me.”

“Really now? You think you could handle that?”

“I do.”

“Well you are lucky, because I might want that too.”

“So,” he looks at my side where my inked skin is on display. “What’s the tattoo mean?”

“A little bit messy. A little bit ruined. A beautiful disaster. ” I swallow, “It’s a quote from my favorite book. I uh, I got it during one of my dark periods a few years ago.”

“Did it hurt?”

“Very much,” I nod.

“Can I feel it?”

“Sure,” I take his hand and place it just under the wire of my bra.

—

Her fingers are cold against mine, but I revel in the feeling. What we’re doing is far from what I expected to happen. I was just hoping to get a kiss by the time I dropped her off. But now I’m here, in just my boxers, freezing in the ocean with her. And she stands before me, eyes closed, breathing uneven, in nothing but her bra and panties. 

I run my fingers gently over the soft skin of her stomach and that’s when she shudders against me, making me melt. It’s intimate being this close to her, and something in me wants this to last forever. She looks so pretty standing in front of me, not a care in the world, just looking like the most beautiful girl I have ever laid eyes on. Her hair falls carelessly in her face, covering her burning cheeks. The moonlight basks her in this angelic light and I’m afraid that if I close my eyes, she’ll be gone.

I don’t realize I’ve been staring for so long until a cold gush of water hits me and I stumble back. Y/n’s laughing, no doubt at my shocked face, clutching her stomach. “Sorry,” she clears her throat. “This was just getting too serious for me.”

I wipe at my face, shaking my head. “Oh you’ve started a war.”

“No!” She says already starting to back away from me. 

“Yes,” I lunge for her and catch her before she gets too far. She squeals, her back flush against my chest. I spin her around a couple times before I throw her in. 

“Connor!” She screams, and stupid me very curiously wants to know how my name would sound when she screams it in different circumstances. 

We play around in the water for a while. Splashing and throwing and ducking and diving. It’s the most fun I’ve had on a date ever. This girl has me totally whipped and she doesn’t even know it yet.

After we’ve become all shriveled and the water has become too cold to be bearable, we make our way back to my car. I pull out a couple towels from my trunk and she narrows her eyes at me. “You just have random towels with you at all times?” She asks when I wrap one loosely around her shoulders.

I take mine and run it roughly over my damp hair. “My mom was always overly packed when my brother and I were kids. I guess I just took after her in that aspect. I always have extra clothes and blankets and everything.

She hums, gripping the towel tighter around her, her teeth chattering. "That’s cute.”

“You’re cute,” I muse. “Come on, let’s warm you up,” I walk around her and open the passenger door for her. She smiles gratefully and slips in. I take our clothes from the hood and walk back around to the driver’s side. I blast the heater and see her visibly relax. The dash reads twenty past three. “We still have a couple hours before sunrise. What should we do?”

She shifts in her seat to face me better. “Tell me about film. Like what made you want to do it?”

I sigh, “It’s dumb.”

“I’m sure it’s not,” her hand rests on my bare bicep. “Come on. I really want to know. I want to know you. I’ve told you probably everything you could possibly know about me. Now it’s your turn.”

I hum, “Okay. I guess - I started when I was pretty young. I always liked photos. I still do. But there’s just something about videos. When you can hear and see and feel the energy radiating from the crowd. Pictures are great, don’t get me wrong. Videos are just that little something extra. You get to fully relive a moment instead of just thinking back to it, when you can forget minor details.”

She smiles. “You’re amazing. You know that?”

My face flushes red and I rub the back of my neck sheepishly. “I’m okay, I guess.”

Another hour passes of us just talking about anything, we make our way back out to shore about an hour before the sun comes up. We’re walking hand in hand, neither of us particularly dressed - my jeans hang low on my hips, exposing the waistband on my boxers,  and she’s in my sweat top. The sleeves are so long, they bunch up at her wrist so she can comfortably hold my hand.

“What do you think about travel?” I ask her, looking down at her while she looks over the water beside us.

“Travel… hmm. I don’t know. I’ve always wanted to, it’s just hard with classes and stuff. Hard to find the time to get away, I guess.”

I nod, “Yeah, I get that.”

“What about you? You travel a lot with Shawn. Do you enjoy it?”

“Yeah. No, it’s amazing. Exhausting, but amazing.”

“What’s your favorite place you’ve been to?”

“Italy was nice, I really liked Spain too.”

“I’ve always wanted to go to Paris. It’s basic, I know. I just always thought it looked pretty.”

Well maybe I can take you one day, I think to myself. “You’ll go someday. I’m sure of it.”

We sit down a short while later and I lean back on my hands as I watch her pull her messy hair into a bun. I want to kiss her, run my thumb over her cheekbones, feel the crushing weight of her lips against mine. She catches me staring and covers my eyes playfully, “Connor, stop!”

“What?” I take her hands and tangle our fingers again.

“You’re staring again,” she says, leaning into me, her head resting in the crook of my neck.

—

For a second my eyes flutter shut, but I will the sleepiness away. “What time does the sun come up?”

“Not for another twenty minutes. You got time to take a nap." 

I snuggle closer to him, loving the sea salt smell that coats his body - the scent in itself like a sweet lullaby. But I shake my head, "No, I’m okay. Let’s just,” I yawn. “Let’s just stay like this for a little bit.”

“We can do that,” he wraps one arm around my waist and we stay like this until the sky starts to become lighter and bluer, a comfortable silence still falling over us.

“It’s so pretty,” he says quietly, as if speaking any louder would ruin the moment.

“Yeah, it is.” I yawn again and bury myself into him again.

He chuckles. “You okay there?”

“You’re comfy,” I mumble. “Could fall asleep right here.”

“And I would love nothing more. But I unfortunately have to get us back home.”

“No,” I whine. “Don’t wanna go. Wanna stay here with you.”

“Well I guess we could stay a little longer. How about I take you to breakfast?”

“Like a second date?” I look up at him through hooded eyes.

“Well I haven’t taken you home yet. This is technically still date one.”

I smile, “Okay.”

He pats my thigh and I remove myself from him so he can stand. When he’s done dusting himself off, he holds a hand out to me. We’re dangerously close to each other as the sun basks us in the six o'clock light. His hands detangle from mine and find their way to my jaw. I’m extremely aware of everywhere my body touches his, and before I have the nerve to pull away, his lips are covering mine. I hum and wrap my arms around his neck, playing with the tufts of hair that would touch his collar if I wasn’t wearing his shirt. His tongue slides into my mouth and he bunches up the shirt, pulling me closer to him. 

When we pull apart, he rests his forehead against mine, trying to catch his breath. “Let’s go get you something to eat so I can get you home.”

I mock hurt. “Dang. Okay.”

“No,” he laughs. “Because if I take you home, that means I can take you on a second date. Maybe tomorrow?”

“You’d think after 15 hours you’d be tired of me.”

He shakes his head, “I don’t think I ever could.”

***

I hope you enjoyed (again)! Please, like, reblog, and leave feedback!!

[spiders-hth-is-an-outlier]

zodiac: Sagittarius sun/Gemini moon -- big talk, big think, big I HAVE AN IDEA energy

height: 5′7″

last thing i googled: “the mad popper” to get the online menu for the popcorn shop where I bought a last-minute Christmas gift for my parents

song stuck in my head: actually nothing right now, but I’ve been on a Florence + the Machine kick, mostly “Sky Full of Song” and “Patricia”

number of followers: 422 incredibly sexy and discerning users

amount of sleep: I am not a badass about this stuff, and I don’t like being under 8 hours for more than a day in a row.  I try to go to bed between 10 and 11; I have two alarms that go off at 6 and 6:30, which gives me a chance to waste time and still get up by 7.  Sometimes I have insomnia.  Sometimes I nap.  

lucky number: I don’t have one? Do people have one?

favorite song: God, that’s such an impossible question!  I always go to bat for “Take On Me” -- I even have a tag dedicated to it called #great pop song or the greatest pop song? -- but there are definitely songs that I have a stronger personal connection to me.  I think one of the songs that’s been a big, meaningful thing in my life for a long time is Bif Naked’s “Lucky” -- it’s so simple, and yet I just feel it between my ribs every time I hear it.  I’ve had maybe a zillion mix CDs and playlists in the past 20-whatever years that have included it, and I’m happy to hear it every time, so maybe that’s what a favorite song is.

favorite instrument: All strings, really, but I think cellos are amazingly haunting and cool.

dream job: You know, I wish I knew!  I really like the job I have, but I’m not sure it’s like...my *dream,* per se. I’ve thought about leaving it as it becomes more physically difficult over the years, but every time I think about how much I’d miss it.  I don’t know, I used to think I wanted to write professionally, but I really like not answering to anyone at all about what I write and when, so there’s that.  I definitely envy the people who can do the professional witch thing, like I think teaching and tarot reading and writing books and doing the festival speaking circuit would suit the shit out of me, but that’s a massive amount of marketing and self-promotion work that I don’t want to commit to.  I don’t know, I’ll let y’all know if I find it!

aesthetic: Oh, god, I have NONE of that, I’m actually really blocked on like -- visual stuff.  I don’t know what goes with what, and I can’t kind of visualize stuff and get like An Aesthetic out of them.  I like things I see that are kind of Tuscan farmhouse-looking, or hobbit-hole looking, or vaguely Renaissance-y, like sturdy wooden things and lanterns and tapestry print?  Is that anything?  Honestly, I do really struggle to think in images rather than words.  I like words.

favorite animal noises: Well, you can’t beat a purring cat, can you?  But I like the way foxes laugh, too, that always makes me happy.

random: I’ve never watched an episode of 30 Rock.  That feels weird to me.

Thanks for the tag, @prettyboysdontlookatexplosions !  I don’t know who else hasn’t been tagged?  How about @honeybabydichotomy and @allegria23 but also anyone else who wants to!

[0yakal]

@jaylalovesreading I think it is so amazing how you are a friend to everyone. You can click with any person and you’re always being nice and supportive. I have never encountered you saying anything rude or hurtful. I would not be able to find someone who doesn’t like you, if that I’m sure.

@books-and-starss If I over have a question I know I can turn to you. You are so incredibly kind and thoughtful. Your always thinking about the other people around you and I wish personally I could be more like that. I love your perception on the world and the quotes and good messages you share. Don’t ever stop doing that, because then you would stop being you.

@fairyprincessofthedragons Let me just say you are fabulous. You are so easy to talk to and I love talking to you as well. You always respond with meaningful answers that can make me laugh. You are like a sister to me. I love going at it with you. I have never seen you back down from anything. Whether it’s a comment, question, or scenario. Also you have some crazy good ideas that are seemingly pulled from thin air, and it’s so enjoyable to read your works.

@chiyoko-cherry One thing I absolutely adore about you is how you include everyone. Even if you don’t notice you do it, you do and that means so much to me. You look around and see who needs a little something that day and you definitely deliver. I love your art style and it is amazing. You do the stuff nobody else does and I love love love it. You read in between the lines. Color outside the lines. You know how to love everyone and to that I wish I could do. Your so humble about things to, you deserve all the praise you get.

@candlemouse Oh my gosh you are such a people person and I wish I could do what you do. You’re all around funny, sweet, kind, crazy, and I love every bit that makes up you. I love the things you reblog because they are always funny or meaningful. I love the way you do things. You have this extra little touch you put on things and it makes all the difference. You are so supportive and any person that receives your kindness dies of happiness.

@fairyprincesskendra The thing that comes to mind when I think about you is: Kind, smart, beautiful, and when all else fails you’re the thing holding everything together, you’re the lifeline. You are so needed and so incredibly loved. Let me just say I love you bro. You are an angel sent to Earth blessing the rest of us with you. You are the sparkle in the night. The shooting star. And I don’t know what the rest of us would do if we didn’t have you.

@imasorenson You lift so many people up, including me. I love the things that you have to say it reflects a lot in who you are. And you are such an amazing, kind, thoughtful person. Your ideas are just so perfect. You are just so perfect. Your edits are to die for and I can’t wait to see what you have in store for the future.

@bitterwindissneakingin Ilove how you stand with your option. No matter whatever somebody else says or does you are still you. Your so true to yourself. I admire your courage about being the opposition. You believe in what you think is right and that is something I admire above so many other things. You are so witty and clever, you have a way with words. I love your boldness and I wish I could be as forth coming as you are.

@aerinmelina Seriously dude you are so amazing and I can’t even stand it. You know how to make anyone feel better even if you aren’t trying. If my Mom wasn’t so amazing I would immediately ask you to take me in and adopt me, because your just that good. You’re not just a good mom you’re a great person and so admirable.

@certain-death-awaits You are so fun to be around. You just fit right in wherever you go. I love the way you say things, the way you speak because it just has that spark of you. And I love that spark. You are so kind and supportive of anyone who needs it (or even if they don’t). You are an amazing person and that will never change.

@jesussavedevenme You are meaningful. Every bit you write. People look up to you. I look up to you. You matter so much you make the difference. I love your sweetness and your caring attitude. I wish more people would be like you cause you are just so gosh darn amazing. You stand up for what is right and do so much good in this bad world.

@carolinelikesdinner You are so funny. Every time I see something that you’ve posted, I laugh. If I need to giggle a bit I go to you. Your hair is so cute and just thank you. Thank you for being Caroline. For finding funny things and Fablehaven-izing them. For posting your amazing art.

@imboredsoread I simply adore your dollify stuff. You are so incredibly supportive and help people reach their full potential. Your art is so cute that you just have to make more. I know that you can do anything you set your mind to and that is just amazing.

@thekitchenphilosopheress I love your fun and light-hearted air. It’s just so refreshing. You have a clever sense of humor and I love it. Your posts are some of my favorites. I love randomly going through your account and just reading what you have to say or what you think is worth sharing, cause really its worth it.

@hootowlgryph0n I love your commentary. You seem to always have the right thing to say and it’s always uplifting and kind. I love commentary but yours is something special. My own commentary sucks so I can definitely learn a thing or too from you. You have so many good ideas you need to share more of them. I can tell that you have a lot to say, so go ahead and say it. Let loose live a little don’t wait for the perfect opportunity, by that point it will have already passed.

@one-neat-nerd I love your name so much. It’s just so classy. I love that you incorporate everyone into everything and your so welcoming and friendly. I don’t know how to properly say this but you just get things. You go with the flow, kind of roll with It, crack a few jokes. Aka your one of my kind of people. I love you for the way you are just so…yes. You can never be replaced.

@ronodin-can-die You are so creative and original, I love it. There’s a little bit for everyone on your blog and you are just so freakin amazing. People love you. (Cough cough me). You are so talented and I really wish I knew you better cause you’re the kind of person I’d want to know better.

@thecagedsong How? How do you do it? You are one of the smartest people I know. You can see things where others can’t and it freakin blows my mind. I love your simplicity your easy-going nature your you-ness. And let’s just say If I knew half the things you did…

@fairykam Oh boy where do I begin? There is just so much that is fabulous. Well I could say that you’re art is amazing, you’re such a fun person, you’re so creative. I can say all of those things because they’re true, but what I love most about you is your captions and comments. Every caption puts a smile on my face and brightens my day. You spread love and positivity like it’s a disease and I only wish I could do it to the same extent as you do.

@aezeniadoodles The amazingness of you is unreal. You is kind, you is nice, and you is worth it. I have loved every single name you’ve called yourself and I think they are all perfect. No one name is right for you because you just have so much personality there’s not a correct word to describe it (except maybe supercalifragilisticexpialidocious ;), but that’s a bit wordy)

@i-want-a-bracken-to-my-kendra You are such a cool person. I love your personality it’s just so cute. And heck ya cello fam unite!!! You are such a fun bubbly person. You’re fun, funny, and just so freakin amazing. You are totally someone I want to have as one of my besties so I hope I can get to know you better.

@varian-love-and-other-stuff You know how to encourage and support someone. Dude it’s just soo amazing, I read something you wrote and even I felt better (which is weird since it wasn’t to me, but you just have that affect on people). I love the way the way you make the difference. It’s the small and simple things that counts, and your’s pile up so high it’s to the moon.

@fairygirl22 Your art style is so cute! You absolutely need to do more fanart, like I won’t take no for an answer You have some cool ideas, they’re really interesting and get my brain spinning. You are so friendly and kind and sweet and just about a million other things. Whenever I read your writing I just love it. It gives me inspiration for my own stuff. Really your truly inspiring and it makes me feel good.

@dragonsofwyrmroost I absolutely adore your writing! Fanfiction, headcannons, anything and you got it down so good. I love your willingness to go and do good things. You are such a good person. You are so much stronger than you think and you always will be because that’s the kind of person you are and nothing will ever change that.

[lucillebarker]

The section of Sister Golden Hair beginning with "Okay, maybe asking him to brush her hair was that shocking." and ending with “Hard to imagine you with a Mia Farrow cut.”

Wheeeeeeee! This will be fun. This was also pretty long, so go under the cut for the details.

Okay, maybe asking him to brush her hair was that shocking.

I know I mentioned this in the comments on AO3 and elsewhere, but the inspiration for Sister Golden Hair is that never once do you see Jimmy touch Kim’s hair. He doesn’t push it out of her eyes, he doesn’t play with the ends, none of it. I touched on it during lines we cross, but I wanted to delve a little bit deeper into why he wouldn’t do that.

Then on top of that, there are the commentaries for Season 4 where Rhea talked about how the makeup and hair team decided that it would make sense that Jimmy could maybe brush her hair or maybe put it up in a clip or barrette. Hairstyles that were simple, whereas her usual ponytail would have to be done by a professional until her cast was off.

“Are you sure?” Jimmy asked.

No, I’m not sure, Kim thought.

🎵 Trust issues that I wish you saw... 🎵 

This section is one of the reasons that I wrote the sex scene before. So the scene preceding this was a challenging thing and a big risk. When writing M or E fics, the sex scenes tend to go fairly well. (As they should.) So because I was dealing with childhood trauma connected to Kim’s hair, I wanted to write something that moment early in a relationship when someone accidentally forgets the boundaries that were set up. It’s not on purpose—”[Jimmy] would do anything for Kim”—but it’s easy to forget yourself and go back into a routine that had been built with other partners.

But I really wanted to emphasize on how big a step this was for Kim. How she can go from fighting off panic in what is meant to be an intimate moment, to confronting it head on in a new form of intimacy.

The pain medication barely numbed the excruciating pain in her arm, so the muscles in her neck and back were doing their best to tense up. The acid in her stomach felt like it was boiling. It was not always painful experience when her mother stroked her hair. That was the problem. She couldn’t predict what her mother would do. Her mother was capable of kissing the tail of the braid she had made in Kim’s hair. She was also capable of screaming at Kim, slurring her words as she dragged Kim out of multiple homes before multiple landlords called the police. 

Kim is in literal and emotional pain, and she is trying to numb it in anyway she can. And the worst thing about pain and emotions is that they are unpredictable. So Kim can take all of the medication she needs, but there will be nausea. She can stave off these memories, but they are built into her body as protective reactions. And it all comes from this unpredictable, chaotic nature of her mom. 

Kim buried Nebraska away like Edgar Allan Poe’s Cask of Amontillado. Her past was always screaming at her and banging against the stone wall she had encased it in. She’d be stupid not to notice that it was finding it’s way out, blood-stained chips of rock on the floor of her mind.

This is a reference to the Kim that we’ve started to see over the course of Season 4 and 5. She’s starting to get more emotional and she can’t keep everything locked away as tightly anymore. Also, I loved the Cask of Amontillado as a kid, and I love that horrific image of someone or something desperate enough to scratch at stone to get out.

Kim waved her hairbrush like a little white flag. If this was giving up, at least it was on her terms.

Again, a woman that hates giving up control deems asking for help as defeat. Definitely not relatable. At all. Who would ever—?

Jimmy stepped behind her and took hold of the handle. His gaze flicked between the brush and her gaze in the mirror.

“Just to be clear,” he warned, “I don't know what I'm doing.”

As I mentioned in one of my other writing asks, Jimmy and Kim deflect with humor. Honest humor, but still humor.

He placed it against her head and it immediately snagged in a mess of hair, causing her to hiss as he pulled the brush out.

“Sorry,” he grimaced.

Kim shook her head. “It’s okay. Start at the ends first and then work your way up.”

There’s plenty of media showing cisgender men with sisters or daughters knowing how to brush hair. Jimmy McGill does not know how to do that. Growing up in Cicero during the 70′s as one of two boys? Oh no. And Mama McGill never had long hair because she is a Gwen Verdon lookalike.

Jimmy tried again, following her instructions and combing through the the ends of her hair. Kim closed her eyes as the brush moved upwards. The bristles gently scraped against her scalp in slow movements. A quiet moan escaped her, and Kim breathed in. She could not fully let go of her tension, but her muscles relaxed bit by bit with every soft exhale. 

Writing description isn’t my favorite because my standards are too high, but I loved writing this. There is something so soothing about brushing your hair. Then I had to have Kim deal with these dueling emotions of enjoying it and waiting for the other shoe to drop. Breathing steadily and focusing on that allows her to relax and trust Jimmy a little more.

She had to admit it. This was pretty nice.

“Is it?”

Kim opened one eye. Jimmy was smirking at her. “I said that out loud, huh?”

“Yep.”

Distracted + drugged up on Vicodin = romantic comedy. 👍🏻 

She shrugged. “Yeah, it feels nice.”

“Glad I’m doing something right.”

This is a great reminder that this happens after Chuck told Jimmy that he was just going to keep hurting people and that he “didn’t matter all that much” to Chuck. So compound that with all of that guilt about Kim’s car accident, what he did to Mrs. Landry, and you’ve got a nice loaded statement under the surface of a joke.

For all of his bluster and showboating, Jimmy was tender with her. His touch on her shoulder was soft, as if a firmer grip could break her. As if anything could break her after all she’d been through.

Another loaded statement, this is both about Kim’s past and the fact that she almost died in a car accident. It’s not necessarily that she thinks she’s invincible—she’s just experienced at gluing the pieces back together. And Jimmy treating her with the tenderness of something that he could have lost is also a great contrast for the chaos tornado that is Saul Goodman.

“Did you ever have short hair?” Jimmy asked. “Or have you always kept it long?”

This was inspired by one of Rhea’s older headshots. I couldn’t not write it into this story, but I wanted to make it a little more extreme.

“I cut it once. I was sixteen. I didn’t even go to the local beauty school, I did it myself. I went nuts and cut it super short...” Kim raised her eyebrows as she clarified, “Rosemary’s Baby short.”

As soon as I wrote this, I had to write the flashback that followed it. I didn’t plan to write another Red Cloud flashback, but I wanted to see Kim rebel. And that’s how you got Kim saw off a hair sprayed ponytail at her high school. ❤️ 

Jimmy’s eyes widened. “You’re kidding.”

Kim chuckled. “My mom was pretty mad.”

“Hard to imagine you with a Mia Farrow cut.”

I don’t like this idea of Jimmy wondering “Who is Kim?” I mean, obviously there’s gotta be some mystery there. But he at least knows some things. I can’t imagine Kim not mentioning her mom ever, or growing up in Nebraska ever. He’s been her only friend and he’s the love of her life. That said, there are some questions that do slip through the cracks and result in surprise—short hair cuts, telling drunk dudes to howl at the moon during sex, cello practice, pinky rings from Cicero, etc.

[herenya-writes]

Was tagged by @forgotten-envies for this tag game. Warning, it’s a long one.

your name and then what you would have named yourself: Name’s Jessi (short for Jessica). I think I would have named myself after a tree or plant. Like Aspen or something. I really like tree names.

astrological sign (sun/moon/rising if you know them): I’m a Virgo. That’s all I know lol. I’ve never really identified with it much—I’m just not a nice/gentle enough person for it.

when did you join tumblr and why?: I joined a little over a year ago because I wanted to get involved with the Star Trek fandom. I started writing fanfic for Star Trek pretty soon after I watched TOS, and I wanted a platform to interact with other fic writers and my readers.

top 5 fandoms: Star Trek, Lord of the Rings, Stormlight Archives, Star Wars, and the Witcher.

top 5 favorite films: Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, The Voyage Home, Pride and Prejudice, The Princess Bride, and Phantom of the Opera

go to song when you wanna Feel something: “Hold On” by Chord Overstreet

what’s your religion or faith if you have one?: Good question!

a song that makes you feel seen: “She Used To Be Mine” by Sara Bareilles

if you could have any career: Any career? Something in space for sure, especially if it involved discovery of distant planets or functioning as some kind of ambassador to aliens. More realistically, a professor of English and Literature somewhere, with an emphasis on how science fiction reflects humanity.

do you have a type?: I want to say no, but I bet I do. I mean, I’m demi, so it’s more of a personality thing with me, but it varies from person to person. People who give good hugs/cuddles are high on the metaphorical list though!

what does your heart/soul yearn for: To be remembered when I’m gone. I want my name—or at least my deeds—to be spoken of in generations. I want to do something meaningful with my life.

if you had to describe yourself in 5 words to someone who doesn’t know you: sarcastic, writer, observant, nerdy, passionate (wow that sounds really lame idk man)

favorite subjects in school: English by far, although I also enjoy history (specifically World History) and Physics.

where does your soul feel most at home: Curled up on the couch surrounded by my family with a fire going. We don’t have to be talking. just existing in the same space in comfort and love is enough.

top 5 fictional characters: Kaladin Stormblessed, Spock, Aragorn, Obi-Wan, and Elizabeth Bennet. (That is a very male-dominated list, which I have some thoughts about, but I’m not gonna derail this post.)

top 3 moments in a show that made you ugly cry: Hmm. I don’t cry very much...I cried when Spock died in The Wrath of Khan, I might have cried when the Fellowship parted ways in The Return of the King, and I definitely cried at some point while watching the Clone Wars, although I can’t pin down a specific moment.

the earth, the sun, the moon or the stars: The Stars.

favorite kind of weather: Thunderstorms with heavy rain and plenty of lightning.

top 3 characters you kin with: Idk. Spock, I guess. Annabeth Chase (more when I was younger, but yeah), and Mr. Darcy maybe?

favorite medium of art: Books. Although I really like traditional paintings that utilize a lot of different textures.

introvert/extrovert/ambivert: Introvert.

a favorite literary quote: You want me to just choose one??? I don’t think I can do that... How about “The purpose of a storyteller is not to tell you what to think but to give you something to think upon” from The Way of Kings (I think) by Brandon Sanderson

some of your favorite books: Mistborn, The Way of Kings, and the Alloy of Law all by Brandon Sanderson; Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen; The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde; and The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald.

if you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?: Somewhere with a forest where the leaves change color in the fall and there’s a mountain nearby. Not in the city, but not too far either. 

if you could live in any time in history when would it be?: Probably the Renaissance, which is likely a basic answer.

if you could play any instrument masterfully it would be: Well, I play the clarinet moderately well, but I would love to be able to play the cello masterfully.

if you have one, what mythological god or goddess do you feel a connection to: Hmmm. Once upon a time I would have answered Athena without hesitation, and I suppose that’s still somewhat true, but I’m not sure.

and lastly, favorite recent selfie in your camera roll: 

The screen protector in front of my selfie camera is broken, which is why there’s that weird lighting lol

[moderndayportia]

What do you do when you have writer's block?

Thanks for the ask. I’m by no means an expert- hell, I’ve been blocked for about 2 years- but I will share some of the things I do that help me in hopes that maybe they can help you and others?

1. Ask for prompts:

Writing short, low-stakes, no-pressure stories has really helped me reconnect with my writing and my readers recently. It also helps that the fandom is so wildly encouraging. I feel so motivated to do more for them.

2. Read:

And I don’t mean fanfiction. This is my biggest source of inspiration for writing. I read novels, short stories, poems, memoirs- anything that will create space in my mind for new ideas to spark. This is probably highly personal for every writer,  but Haruki Murakami is my go-to: he is prolific, so there’s always another book to dive into, and his novels create these spaces  and images in my mind that I carry around with me and just think about. Suddenly there are two moons in the sky, or 30 chapters in to a normal plot a cat can speak, or it starts raining fish at a bus stop, or you are walking through an underground tunnel system surrounded by mysterious creatures, or there is a man on a mountain dressed as a sheep. Find stories that are steroids for your imagination and give them space to inspire you.

3. Read out loud:

Hearing can trigger new ideas in a way that reading can’t. Sometimes when I’m trying to work on the next part or chapter of a story and I feel stuck, I go back and read the previous part out loud. Sometimes I take a walk and have my iPhone read it to me. Being passive and listening may open some doors that you aren’t able to force open by being active through reading.

4. Collect images and language:

If I was a more organized person, I would tell you to write them down, but for me I just keep them in my head. I can sometimes build a whole story from one image or expression. For example, I’ve been thinking about an unmoored rowboat by a dock since I read a Mary Oliver poem years and years ago. I was recently able to use it in a drabble and it really was the point of that drabble- everything I wrote lead up to that. There are other things I carry around in my head from my own experiences: a woman standing alone on a subway platform as a yellow train pulls away; my bicycle basket filled with cherry blossom petals outside the elementary school;  a lonely nighttime walk up a dark mountain road bordered by towering hyacinth bushes; a fox eyeing me warily at 2am in the middle of a London sidewalk; a bartender chiseling an ice cube into a perfect square; a fire escape up a building I couldn’t help but climb. These may never make it into a story, or they may become a part of a story, or they may become a whole story. I think everyone has these kinds of experiences but it’s just a matter of observing them while they are happening and remembering what makes them special. And then dipping into that well and letting them inform and inspire your writing when the time is right (and when you need them).

5. Find your theme:

This is where I often get the most stuck. Establishing what idea you want to explore should inform every other part of your story, from the pacing, to the plot points to the figurative language. Even in my smut, I try to explore some kind of theme, e.g, ‘In this story, I want to examine trust while in this one I want to play around with ideas of privacy and the public eye.’ If you can set that as your point A before you even start concepting a plot, you may find it easier write something that feels...substantive? I’m not sure if that’s the right word. Meaningful? Fulfilling? Name your poison.

6. Don’t compare yourself to others:

This might be controversial, but when I’m trying to get in creative mode I don’t read other fanfiction from the fandom I’m writing for. I found that I personally can’t stop comparing myself to other, better writers, and then I feel bad and just stop producing. So while I support all the wonderful authors in the KS fandom in spirit, I have to take a break from reading their works while I’m working on my own.

7. Make space and time for your writing:

This is by far the hardest part for me. My work tends to siphon all of the creative energy, so I have to make a concerted effort to carve out a time when I have both energy and inspiration to write. Rituals can help define the time- I light some incense, pour a glass of yerba mate, put on some cello music, and dim the the lights. That’s my routine that tells my mind and body, okay, now is the time we do what we need for our creative fulfillment.

8. Don’t aim for perfect from the start:

Everyone has their own way of writing, but what works for me is writing in layers. My first pass is essentially just a sloppy, sketchy, un-punctucated mess. Sometimes that’s enough and I call it a day (or a month or a year). Then I start going over it again and again, refining with each pass. I take lots of breaks so that I can come back with fresh eyes. I don’t strive for perfection at any stage. Eventually I will have built up all of the layers and the story will be just how it should be, but the process can be messy and wild along the way. And that’s perfectly fine.

9. Alcohol (and sometimes weed)

------------------- So those are the tools I have in my arsenal for uncorking writers block. Does anyone else have good tips for OP (and me)? Please share!

[shadowthrone-ammanas]

Music

“I think you should learn to play the piano.”

Lukas turned his head to see that Vanessa had walked into the music room. “Why?” he asked, lowering his bow and violin.

“Because I can play the piano and I want you to play with me. Plus, piano music goes better with my singing voice. So, I want you to learn to play the piano instead of that.” She pointed to his violin as if it had offended her somehow.

Lukas frowned down at it himself. His playing didn’t sound that bad, did it? He’d only been practicing for a few weeks now but is instructor said he was doing well. And he’d known how to play cello for years now so he didn’t have to go through the hurdle of learning the basics of playing a stringed instrument. So his playing, though definitely not the best was nowhere near being as offensively awful as Vanessa’s tone suggested it was.

He didn’t want to learn to play the piano. Not that he had anything against pianos or the way they sounded but… he preferred string instruments played with a bow. He liked the way they looked and sounded and he felt fancy when he played them. And piano was the most commonly played instrument in this part of the world, he liked playing something different. Besides…

“You already know how to play the piano,” he said, looking back up at Vanessa. “So why do I need to learn it?”

“Because I want you to. We can sit next to each other and play together. We’ll be super cute and everyone will be jealous. So put that silly thing away or heck go ahead and get rid of it. I’ll teach you how to play piano instead, okay?”

Lukas looked back down at his violin. He didn’t want to get rid of it, he wanted to keep at it until he was good at it. He didn’t have any dreams or really the talent or dedication to become a professional musician but it was a nice way to relax sometimes. Vanessa wanted him to play the piano though so… piano it was. Perhaps learning to play an instrument that was so different from the instrument he’d already mastered would be good for him. He could pick up the violin again later.

[Many, many years later]

Snatcher frowned down at the violin in his hand, stolen from an unfortunate contractor who’d thought taking a shortcut through Subcon Forest was a good idea. Or maybe it was a viola or a fiddle. It had been a long time since Snatcher had held one and his large size made it seem rather small no matter what.

He never had gotten back to learning the violin. Vanessa hadn’t let him. In fact, she hadn’t even let him play his cello anymore once she’d finally gotten him on the piano. She’d complained anytime he’d tried to play it until eventually he’d given up and only played the piano with her just like she’d wanted him to. … He hated the piano now.

He was free of her now though and anything she didn’t want him to do he had to do just to spite her. So he teleported to his giant reading hollow and shrunk down to be closer to the size of a normal person. But… he didn’t have a chin anymore so how was he supposed to hold it? And would his less than normal arms make a difference in how he held it too? What about fingers? … Ah, whatever, he’d figure it out eventually by just messing around with it.

[Less than an hour later]

“That sounds like a dying cat.”

Snatcher almost flinched as he looked up to see Hat Kid in his hollow. He frowned at her, annoyed that he’d been too focused to see or even notice her approach. “What do you want kid?” he said, lowering the violin.

“I want to ask why you’re playing the guitar so bad.”

“It’s not a guitar, it’s a violin. What kind of idiot doesn’t know the difference?”

Hat Kid frowned and shrugged. “Mu has a stringed instrument that she calls a guitar, specifically an electric guitar implying there might be non-electric guitars somewhere. I thought that that might be one. I’ve never seen one before though or one of those so how was I supposed to know what it was? I’m an alien, remember? We don’t have those things where I’m from.”

Well, that did make sense. “What kind of instruments do your people play?”

“I don’t know. I’ve spent my whole life learning how to fly and repair a spaceship. I barely had time to listen to music on the radio, let alone anything else. But anyway, is the violin supposed to sound like that or are you just bad?”

Snatcher scowled. “It’s been a long time since I last played, okay? Like since before I died. I just need a bit of time to get a feel for it again. Also, I would like to add that it’s a right-handed violin, I like to play with my left hand.” He was ambidextrous these days but back then he’d been a lefty, meaning he was inclined to hold it wrong on top of the already awkward position not having a chin forced him to hold it in. “And how about you try playing a stringed instrument when your hands don’t like to form proper fingers and see how well you do.” Making round fingers was much harder when his hands wanted to make claws which would’ve probably cut the strings so he had to fight against that. “And to top it all off I’m pretty sure it’s out of tune.” And he didn’t remember how exactly each string was supposed to sound while in tune so he’d just been fiddling with the knobs every now and then, hoping the information would come back to him eventually and/or he’d somehow get it right on accident. “So, shut up.”

Hat Kid smiled up at him. “Okay, I guess that makes sense. I didn’t know you played instruments though. But I guess that explains that giant violin that’s frozen or whatever in the ruins part of the forest.”

“That’s not a violin, it’s a cello.” And Snatcher should probably get back into playing that too. It’d probably be easier because of how long he’d played the cello before Vanessa had taken it away from him.

“But… it looks a lot like the violin just bigger. Why not just call it a big violin?”

“Because it’s a cello. It’s an entirely different instrument kid, it sounds different and you hold it differently, meaning you play it differently too.” Though as large as Snatcher could make himself, he could possibly get away with playing a cello like a violin. … He’d have to try it one day for sure because it sounded like fun.

“Hmmm… fine I guess, whatever. But are those the only two instruments you can play?”

“No, I can play the piano too. And since I can sort of sometimes play the violin, I should be able to play the viola too because they’re very similar. I also played the trumpet as a kid but that was a very long time ago so I doubt I still can.”

“You’re like a musical genius.”

Snatcher opened his mouth to contradict her because he wasn’t anywhere even close to being a musical genius but stopped himself. “Yep, I sure am kiddo,” he said instead because admitting to his flaws wasn’t his thing.

Hat Kid thought for a few moments before her expression brightened as if she’d just thought of something which he probably wasn’t going to like. “Oh, I know. Let’s start a band.”

Yep, Snatcher didn’t like it. “Why?”

“Because you can play a bunch of instruments, Mu can play the guitar and Bow is learning how to play what’s called a keyboard from one of the moon penguins, I think she’s pretty good. And I recently also learned that the Conductor can play drums and of course DJ Grooves has a nice singing voice. That’s enough for a band. Though we could maybe use one or two more people, we’ll have to ask around.”

“Uh… what will you do?”

“I’ll be the person who leads with the wand thingy. I did it with the marching band in one of Grooves’ movies, he showed me how. It was a lot of fun. So how ‘bout it? Want to do it?”

Snatcher had much better things to do than start a band. Especially one led by Hat Kid of all people. She didn’t even know the names of most instruments or what a music conductor and baton were. But…

“Pretty please with lots of cherries on top,” she said, her expression far too cute for its own good. “It’ll be fun. And since you’ll be the first official member, you’ll get to help me make decisions and stuff. And with Grooves’ and the Conductor’s help we can get on the big screen and then we’ll be famous. And I can tell you from experience that being famous is pretty fun. And it’ll be…

“Fine,” Snatcher cut in. “I’ll join your stupid band mostly just to get you to shut up about it.”

“Yes!” She literally jumped for joy. “Thank you!”

“Yeah, whatever.” Snatcher would let her have her happiness for now because there was no way it could last. The others she’s mentioned probably wouldn’t want to join, except for Bow and maybe Mu. So really, he wasn’t agreeing to anything too bad which was why it was okay for him to do so. When her dumb bad idea inevitably failed, he’d have a good laugh at her. If it succeeded then he might be stuck. It wouldn’t succeed though… probably.

[nightshadedawn]

Persona 6 Concept Part 3

{First} {Previous} {Next} {Last}

Unfortunately, this part deals with talk of depression and attempted suicide. It’s not pretty, nor do I claim to have done such a serious topic justice. However, if you have even the smallest thought that it might be triggering, don’t continue on to read the Plot/Playthrough section of this. The next part will have a summer that you can skim past if you prefer to do that. Be safe, everyone.

Opening

We need to talk about the opening. A lot of them have symbolism. And most of them have upbeat songs. Let’s get something a little slower this time, to really experience it, and feel the slow pace of this little town. We don’t need to lie to everyone about how this game’s gonna be played. (I’m also going to recommend some of my own kind of sample music for other things in the next section, so be patient) Also, most stuff I do by accident. If I point it out, I did that on purpose. If I didn’t, that was purely accident and I’m an accidental genius which is the best thing to be. 

We’ve got it down slow, right? What kind of symbolism do we got going on? Well, everything’s green to start off with. And kind of like Persona 5’s opening, it’s going to be bright, NOTICE ME. Basically, it’s going to assault your eyes so no matter when or what context you’re thinking of this game in, your first thought is GREEN. Got that? Good. 

So we’re thinking green. We’re thinking nature. And as you’ll see below, we’ve got roses. (Okay, so the roses were literally incorporated to be added into this FOR the opening, and I love it so I don’t care) And the only colors we’re going to use for this, besides on the roses, is going to be green, white, and black. This will make the green more assaulting and probably more irritating, but who cares! It’ll be gorgeous. 

Now we need other themes. Obviously since there’s two possible MCs, we need to showcase them both. I think in this way we’re going to show them both as the dual sided coin of ‘sickness’ and ‘rebirth.’ You’ll get what I’m seeing in a minute. Obviously this represents how there’s two of them, but also how they’re caught in the middle of this battle with The Plague.

All of the party members will first be seen in situations enabling their sickness, Avis will flit through the screen, and they’ll rip a bandaid off. (This bandaid will also have the image on it that they have on their face mask, which I will provide some example images for below). Their last shot will always be of their rose being left behind. 

It starts off in the forest. Pointedly, it starts off on the waterfall. The waterfall, now great and white, crashed down and washes downstream. The next scene is the female and male MC both trapped in a purely white room (representing their blank personalities, for the player to decide, of course), sitting against the far walls. The female MC holds the black rose, while the male MC holds the white for aesthetic reasons (considering the female MC has white hair is lighter colored, the black rose will pop with her, while the reverse is true for the male MC) After this, we start getting into the other characters.

Sayaka is up first, considering the order that I do things, though perhaps she won’t show up first in the opening due to how important she is. (Like how in the last scene of Persona 5’s opening, it was Yusuke, Ann, then Ryuji and Morgana who showed up after the Protagonist) Anyway, we’ll find her by the riverside, holding both arms around her guitar with broken strings (to symbolize a broken heart, eh, eh?), and crying. When her last segment comes around, she pulls her bandaid off one of her fingers and leave behind her rose.

Yūdai is next. At first you’ll find him consuming and consuming. But by the end, he’ll leave the bandaid from inside his elbow with his rose and begin cooking. 

Miyako is first found in the graveyard, in front of a grave with Tomomi’s name on it. By the end, she rips the bandaid from her neck and leaves it behind with her rose. 

Masahiko is first seen in his father’s office, clenching his thorny rose until his hand bleeds. He leaves both the rose and a bandaid on the office floor as he leaves the room. 

Hoshiko will be found in the forest, shadows and flashes of people running through the trees around her as she cowers, nothing to hold onto but her rose. She pulls the bandaid off her cheek and runs after them. 

Jun is in the courtyard of the school, breathing heavily and in the middle of a fight. He pulls off the bandaid on his nose and lets it fall to the ground by his rose. 

Shinju sits in her chair, looking outside a window and longing to go out. She pulls the bandaid off her knee and leaves it with her rose before going outside. 

And then there’s The Plague. He doesn’t get to leave behind a rose. The only rose he gets is the one pinned to his coat. And the biggest frame we see him in is he’s there, an almost fully corrupted core held between his hands before the scene flashes away. It will flash to the MCs in their little white room. 

Saying that, let’s get back to the MC. Those will probably take up most of the opening, if I’m being honest. But there’s one really important scene that I think needs added to the opening. Well, two, I suppose. 

This first’s one’s easier to explain, and perhaps the scene that come right after the one with The Plague. They’re back in the white room, this time back to back, no longer holding the roses, and instead gripping at their heads. They’re curled away from each other, as if in immense pain. But they both stand and turn towards the camera, walking through a door. Is it blue, is it white, is it black? Who knows?

The second is a popular trope, I think, in openings to have something like this, especially when they two in question are rivals and enemies. But this needs done, I believe, though it’s a bit harder to explain. One side of the screen is light, while the other is dark. It doesn’t matter if it’s the male MC or the female MC is on either side, they will go to the other before this segment is over. The dark side is their Other World, while the light side is their town. I think, instead of walking to the other side, the camera will spin around them, a line down the screen so it always stayed with one light half and one dark half, so you can see each of them in the light and dark but also both on seperate sides. This one was a little hard to explain. Sorry, guys.

Maybe the second one will be in the middle of the first? Like right after they stand up, it does this before they start walking out.

The end scene will start immediately after they walk out of the door, and have all the roses of the different party members tied up in a bouquet in a vase by a hospital bed, but the black and white roses will be left crossed and forgotten on the floor. (If it’s insinuated that this was the hospital room the MC’s mother died in, all the better)

With that out of the way, onto music!

I don’t think everything should be slow, obviously, but having some slower tracks really would set the mood. Considering that this is a small down, without a lot of adventure waiting to happen, I don’t think a BUNCH of upbeat tracks would be appropriate. Here’s some music that I found that I think would fit within the confines of this supposed game, even if they can’t be used legitimately. 

Music

On top of some of these, let’s get some traditional Japanese songs on modern instruments up in here, maybe to some modern beats. Put a new spins on things. Also, make sure to check out the original video that inspired this in the first place for his idea on the music! I found a lot of instrumentals, though his ideas will work a lot better for some parts.

Opening

Sailor Moon - Moonlight Densetsu / Star Locket Theme (Harp Cover)

手紙 ～拝啓 十五の君へ～ Tegami Haikei Juugo no Kimi e 歌ってみた 【Ventus】 w/ English, Japanese, 中文字幕 subs

Ivan Torrent - Skyborn

L'Arc~en~Ciel 05 Dive to Blue

Background Tracks That I Don’t Know Where to Put

Magical Forest - Enchanted Celtic Woods (Album)

Most Popular Harp Covers of Popular Songs 2018 || The Best Harp Music - Harp Cover Version Playlist

"Fireflies" by Owl City (Harp cover)

Ellie Goulding - Love Me Like You Do // Amy Turk, Harp

Epic Adventure Music - Journey Of Wonders

(Epic Adventure Music) - Venturing To The New World -

Fantasy Music - Lumina

See You Again | Wiz Khalifa ft.Charlie Puth | Melodious Flute Cover | Swarnim Maharjan

Happy forest song!

Morning Jazz - Amazing, Happy, Upbeat, Positive Music | Relax Music to Start Your Day

Most Epic Music Ever: Tosca Fantasy

Inside Tracks - Breathing Hope & Confidence - Song Mix (Epic Music)

Most Beautiful Music Ever: "Everdream" by Epic Soul Factory

Most Emotional Music Ever: "Nightsky" by Tracey Chattaway

Japanese Fantasy Music - Between Worlds

Autumn Leaves and Wind Chimes – 10 Hour Soundscape for Sleep, Meditation, Ambience, Relaxation

Morning Musume - Sakura Mankai

GIRLS`GENERATION 少女時代_ALL MY LOVE IS FOR YOU_Music Video

WORLD ORDER "HAVE A NICE DAY"

Town - Day

Hallelujah on a Harp - Leonard Cohen Tribute

Moana - 'How Far I'll Go' - Flute Cover

Lana Del Rey - Summertime sadness for cello and piano (COVER)

Good Vibes In Forest Upbeat - Vlog Music Royalty Free

Town - Rainy Days

Toto - Africa // Amy Turk, Harp

"Sweater Weather" by The NBHD | Harp Cover

Town - Night

"Perfect" by Ed Sheeran | Harp Cover (Wedding)

John Legend - All of Me Flute Cover

Emotional Music - A Nostalgic Dream

Forest - Day

Fíonnula's Tale | Celtic Flute Music

Elisabeth Wentland - Kuhlau fantasy for flute solo op. 38 D major

(Epic Asian Music) - Dance Of The Sun -

(Epic Celtic Music) - Splendor of Nature

Forest - Night

(Epic Celtic Music) - Spirit Of The Moon (feat. Léa FANTIN)

(Epic Battle Music) - The Moonlight Huntress

Fantasy Elven Music - The Voice of the Forest

Moonlight Sonata (Liquid Dubstep Remix)

Exploring the Other World

Fantasy Celtic Music - Spirit of the Wild

(Celtic Adventure Music) - Spirit Of Freedom

(Celtic Adventure Music) - Running Free - Peter Crowley

Into an Enchanting Forest || Magical Celtic Music @432Hz || Mystical Forest Sounds

Into a Mystical Forest || Enchanted Celtic Music @432 Hz || Nature Sounds || Magical Forest Music

Enchanted Forest Music (528Hz) : Brings Positive Transformation | Mystical Forest Sounds

Battle/Difficult Boss Approaching

(Viking Medieval Metal) - The Valley Of Myths - Peter Crowley

Epic Heroic Music - Horizon Of Hope

The Hobbit - Misty Mountains Cold on STL Ocarina

Upbeat Background Music - Nature Magic - by MusicForYourMedia

Empire of Angels

Celtic Battle Music - Iron Queen

From the Fields of Gallia (Epic Celtic Metal)

Celtic Music - Wolf Blood

-The Most Epic Sound- Tchaikovsky Remix

Epic Violin Battle Music

Shizen - Skydancer (Epic Dark Dramatic Orchestral)

World's Most Epic Music Ever: False God (Shizen)

Ending Theme

Yiruma - "River Flows in You" (cover by Bevani flute)

桑田佳祐 - 明日晴れるかな Kuwata Keisuke - Ashita Hareru Kana

'Ashita hareru kana?' cover by Fika Hime [Akan kah besok cerah?]

Roses

Two flowers for two MCs. Both are associated with purity, rebirth, and new beginnings. As the black rose cannot be found naturally, it’s also associated with a cloud of mystery, much like the MC of any Persona game. 

Sakaya’s rose is red, as which represent a deep understanding and love. They could be exchanged with Yūdai’s pink, as pink roses are often used to represent friendship or crushes

Yūdai’s rose color is pink, as pink roses are often used to represent friendship or crushes. They could be exchanged with Sakaya’s red roses, which represent a deep understanding and love.

Miyako’s rose color is blue, because they are known for mystery and intrigue, but also for mourning and sadness. 

Masahiko’s rose color is purple, as they are associated with royalty, pride, attachment, and enchantment. 

Hoshiko’s flower is yellow, a shade that is often associated with cheeriness, joy, and friendship. It is also rumors to be associated with jealousy in older times.

Jun’s rose is orange, a color associated with passion, energy, desire, and excitement.  

Shinju’s rose is green, representing rejuvenation and spirit. 

The Plague is represented by a wilting rose, as everyone else has a rose theme and obviously he’s up to shady shit if his rose is dying. And people around town were dying. This only seemed to fit.

The Doors

The doors will be your entrances to the Other World and the Velvet Room. You’ll be able to enter and exit through the doors however many times you like, but once you leave out from under the waterfall, you’re done for the day. Like Persona 5, the world behind each door, called Moarte, will be unique to the owner. Unlike Persona 5 where it reflected their desires, the Moarte will reflect their sickness and the world as their sickness makes it, especially the closer you get to their Shadow, though all of it will be nature themed.

White Door - The white door will be your door to Padure Nesfarsita, the endless forest. This is where you’ll do your crunching. The Shadows here will take the shape of large animals and gigantic, carnivorous plants. Everything is overgrown, and there will be times when you’ll be forced to stop because the path is so overgrown. (When the next section of the game starts it will become clear and you may continue on) The beginning of the forest will be bright and easier to navigate, but the further you go in, it’ll steadily grow darker and become almost maze like in how often it’ll lead you off the path. And going off the path, in any part of the forest, will greet you with Shadows above your level. (if you’re a high level, reaching into the 70s, this won’t be much of a problem because there is a lack of Shadows that usually reach that level. Be warned if you are not a high level) This will be the door the blue butterfly will lead you through, and will be where you first see The Plague.

Yellow Door - This will be your first dungeon, and will be where Yūdai’s Shadow is. The door will be opened when the MC and Sayaka use their keys to unlock it, if the keys are used to summon Personas. The other side leads to what looks like a paradise. Picture every description of Eden you’ve ever heard. A tropical paradise, with fruits hanging low from the trees and just begging to be picked. But not long into the place, you’ll discover that it’s incredibly hostile. In the distance is a large Aztec style building. The first half of your crawl will be getting to the building, the rest of it will be getting to the center.

Red Door - This is your second dungeon, and Miyako’s door. You will use the keys of all current party members (if applicable) to open this door. If not applicable, the key retrieved from Yūdai’s dungeon will open it. Immediately upon entering, it will be a different feeling to the previous dungeon because this one is immediately hostile. Everything is overgrown, you have to climb over and under large, thorned vines. Once you manage to get through this, you’ll come across a Sleeping Beauty type castle, with a wall of thorns surrounding it. You’ll have to find Miyako’s Shadow within the Palace.

Pink Door - This is your third time doing this, so you know the drill. Use the party’s keys (or the key gained form the previous door) to enter this one. This will be Masahiko’s door. Inside, it’s only desert. There’s not so much as a tumble weed in sight. Eventually, you’ll come to a water source that leads down, down, down and this will take up the entirety of your dungeon crawl. At the bottom, you’ll find Masahiko’s Shadow.

Purple Door - Hoshiko’s dungeon, the next on your list, will look like something out of a horror movie. The Shadows of this dungeon will looks like ghosts and demons and there will be a much higher chance of them coming out of nowhere, so be careful here. The foggy forest you go through will eventually lead you to a wooden cabin (or creepy Victorian mansion, whichever is more terrifying, maybe an abandoned school or temple since I think those apply more to a Japanese audience?). Once you enter this building (whatever it may be), you’ll be separated from your teammates. You must find them all before you can embark below into the basement to find Hoshiko’s Shadow. This will be a long, harrowing process seeing as it will not be made easy on you. You’ll have to fight, even team members short, and you cannot leave or save until you’ve found them all.

Blue Door - This is the Velvet Room entrance, obviously. It has only one keyhole, and will be unlocked by the MC’s key to the Velvet Room.

Green Door - Jun’s dungeon, your fifth run, will be… a work in progress. Maybe a deadly forest, like the Amazon, because of his explosively dangerous anger, or a swamp, ‘cause his personality’s shit.

Silver Door - Shinju’s door will be a frozen wasteland. It won’t take you long to get to the building, and it will be where you spend your dungeon crawl. The building is a broken fortress, with large gaping holes. It will be freezing, with snow and ice storms blocking your vison in some places, making it impossible to see Shadows. 

Gold Door - A major mishap has caused Sayaka to loose control of her Persona and loose her immunity to the virus. After being in town so long, she quickly catches the virus, and thanks to The Plague, she gains her own door. You and your party now must go in and save her before the virus kills her. But this time, you’re on a time crunch. Because while you know what you’re doing by now, so does The Plague. And he thinks it’s time to get rid of you. (Who knows what this one actually looks like? That’s a work in progress too)

Black Door - It’s time to face The Plague. And I’m actually very excited to talk about this part. Be prepared!

Plot/Playthrough

Wow. That was a lot of stuff to go through, and a lot of music, huh? Sorry, I got a little carried away there. I’d also recommend looking through the music on the video that provided this train of thought! But without further ado, let’s get into the plot.

April 7: MC arrives in town.

April 8: MC and Yuuki go to the school to finish registration. MC meets Tomomi.

April 9: MC is walked to school by Tomomi and meets Sakaya. 

April 10: An old lady died last night, and it’s rumors to be of the virus. No one is worried. It’s never killed before. MC sees the cores for the first time, and see Tomomi’s corrupted core. Sakaya takes the MC out after school to go explore the town and surrounding forest, and they end up in the other world where they confront The Plague and MC awakens their Persona. MC dreams of the Velvet Room.

April 11: They receive the news that Tomomi is dead. Sakaya drags MC back to the waterfall and beyond the door from before. Today Sayaka awakens her Persona. They meet and heal Avis. While exploring and trying to get out, you’ll come across a Shadow that looks similar to Yūdai.

April 12: Sayaka confronts you about Yūdai’s corrupted core, and you decide to go back and try to do something about it before he ends up like Tomomi. Yūdai joins the party.

April 13 - May 3: This is your time to go through Yūdai’s Palace (I’m just going to call it that because it’s easier on everyone, okay?). You defeat the boss and Yūdai stops going to school. If you’ve still got time left after defeating the final boss, up your stats and start on as many confidants as you can!

May 4: Yūdai is released from the hospital and the MC’s family goes to Dr. Ueda to get checked out. The MC is the only one not infected by the virus. Natsuki asks you to attend Tomomi’s funeral.

May 5: Tomomi’s funeral, and the first time you meet Miyako.

May 6: Yūdai and Sakaya will take the MC and Avis out to celebrate Yūdai’s release from the hospital, and you’ll hear that the virus has taken a married couple.

May 7 - May 10: You’ll be free to do as you like.

May 11 - May 14: Exams.

May 15: Natsuki takes you to Miyako’s house, and you find Miyako in bad shape. Investigating Padure Nesfarsita will guide you to Miyako’s Shadow, but The Plague takes her away.

We return to our playthrough on May 16.

Worried for Miyako’s safety, the MC, Sayaka, Yūdai, and Avis go to her house once more, only for no one to answer when the knock. However, the door is unlocked and open. (Not a lot, just a crack, as if it were pushed shut in an uncaring haste…)

Considering the state of Miyako the last time, and the state of her Shadow, the group pushes in and just goes inside. Only to find Miyako about to hang herself in her living room. 

There’s no talking her down, just a mad rush to get her down from the chair as quickly as possible and remove the rope from sight. Obviously, she fights and yells and screams. One of them calls an ambulance and/or police (for one, it’s a small town, and two, who do you call in this situation? I’ve never been in their shoes, and I hope I never have to be)

Anyway, Miyako ends up in the hospital under surveillance. The three of you leave the hospital late that night, only to be informed early the next morning that Miyako ran out of the hospital and no one knows where she’s gone (honestly, terrible hospital staff)

Avis informs MC and friends that she can slightly sense Miyako due to having met her Shadow in Padure Nesfarsita. So Avis leads you to the forest, and you’ll chase her closer and closer to the waterfall. 

Miyako ends up under the waterfall in the cave, and the red door swings wide open. She runs through it, but it locks and closes before you can go through it. You have to use all previously collected keys to unlock it. 

Going through the door leads you to a tunnel of thorns, thorny stalks blocking out any and all light from above. It’s much colder than Yūdai’s Palace, and much darker. A complete contrast, not even trying to hide its hostility. 

And Miyako is running right towards the castle at the end. 

The team follows, and you’ll have to chase her inside the castle a bit before finally cornering her in an elaborate bedroom, out on the balcony. She’ll stand there at the edge, steely eyed and daring you to come a step further, hospital gown and hair fluttering in the wind.

No matter what is said, there’ll be no reasoning with her. It’ll be then that you’ll be able to notice the shimmer by her. Sending a projectile with good aim its way will reveal Miyako’s Corrupted Depression (and it’s already fucking corrupted as it is, isn’t it?) as it moves away from her. 

As it is the physical embodiment of depression, it’s going to do everything in its power to make your party back off or take a swan dive. It will also bring your attention to Shadow Miyako, who is sleeping on the bed behind you, looking every image of a sleeping beauty. 

It’ll summon Shadows to come fight you when you refuse to back off, and the Corrupted Depression will disappear as the Shadows corner you on the balcony. The fight will be stalled by the balcony crumbling, and Miyako will begin to fall. 

I’m tempted to have the MC catch her, panic at the thought of death, then remember that’s what she wanted anyway, and beg to be let go. In this scenario, the MC will say something to make her want back up but- oops! She’s slipped and is now falling towards her death again.

In the other scenario, she’s still falling towards her death, but she was never caught. After some thought, she decides that fuck no, she doesn’t want to die. I mean, she kinda does, ‘cause she doesn’t want to live. But she wants it to be on her terms. 

Either way, before she reaches the ground, she will summon for the first time her Persona. Her’s will likely be the only Persona with wings. Anyway, Persona catches her and deposits her back on the balcony to fight along the rest of the team (fuck yeah, you’ve got a full four member team now!)

The Shadows are easy to fight, unfortunately, much harder Shadows will appear and drive you out of the castle and you’ll have to escape back to the cave. However, as you’re leaving through the door, the tunnel of thorns will twist and turn and become a forest of thorns instead, making it deadly and difficult to maneuver. There’s no need to worry about it now, but instead time to get Miyako to safety.

So, they leave Miyako’s Palace and gather around the table under the waterfall, as they do, and you explain everything to Miyako. About the Palace, her corrupted core, and her Persona. And her impending death if they don’t cure her Shadow.

Miyako questions if curing her Shadow will also cure her depression, but they don’t really know if it’ll do that. Yūdai is still obese, hesitant about doing this fighting thing at all, and likes food too much for his own good. Depression is… a much more serious issue. It’s not something that can just be magicked away. Curing her Shadow will rid her of the corruption, and defeating the Corrupted Depression will free her to do something about it. It’s her first step to getting better. 

Miyako is quiet after the conversation. Finally, she says she wants to go back and help to fight. She agrees to go back to the hospital AFTER the Corrupted Depression is defeated. 

May 18 - June 8 will be your allotted time to complete her palace. As before, if you don’t complete her palace, Miyako will die on the last day and it’ll be an automatic game over. However, if you do complete the palace, that very night, Miyako will turn herself in. She will return to school the next Monday afterward June 8, and we’re going to say that’s June 10 since that’s what the calender I’m using as reference for my numbers says.

Your first time back, you will immediately be able to tell that this Palace is a lot more hostile than Yūdai’s. This forest of thorns you have to get through will try its damndest to prevent you from getting back to the castle. This one will also be much less straightforward, as you’ll have to find openings to get through the thorns. But you will prevail, as you must.

However, once you get to the castle, there will many more Shadows, so you’ll have to be very careful unless you want to fight your way through them all. But the good news is that if you remember your way to the bedroom from before, it’ll be really easy to get there. 

Once again, as soon as you interact with Miyako’s sleeping Shadow, the Corrupted Depression will appear. It’ll attempt to talk Miyako into just laying down and dying. After all, her Shadow looks so peacefully sleeping- a sleep she’ll never wake up from. An endless sleep.

This pisses Miyako off, exceptionally, and she shouts something along the lines of “If you want me dead, don’t make me do your dirty work for you, coward! Kill me yourself like every other deadly disease!”

What ensues is the big boss battle, and it’ll use ‘Despair’ a lot, which Miyako is highly susceptible to. It’ll be weak to Light/Bless skills, though, which’ll be helpful. Be sure to take advantage of that. 

You’ll win, of course. Which is always nice! What’s even better is that nothing else attacks you as you go up and heal Miyako’s Shadow. Her core goes from black to green, and she’s saved! Another Palace down, and you leave without issue.

If you haven’t gotten a key from Miyako awakening her Persona, when you visit the Velvet Room that night, Lucius/Gilbert will reward you with the next key you’ll need. You’ll be congratulated, learn a little more, and all that good stuff. Until Miyako comes back to school, you’re free to do as you like.

Her first day back, she’ll cause quite the commotion, not only because of the rumors of her attempted suicide and escape from the hospital following her around, but also because she’ll go to the third year’s classroom at lunch and go right up to the MC, Sayaka, and Yūdai as they’re talking. She’ll deeply bow and thank you for saving her life before attempting to leave.

Sayaka will invite her out to celebrate her release from the hospital, and she’ll agree, if that’s what her senpais want. After some agreement (begrudging or not on your part) it will be agreed to go out the next day. The party’s great! No news of another death this time! When you go home after the party, Yuuki will be complaining about a new transfer this late into the school year (it’s only June, old man)

The news od another death happens the day after. This time, it’s a kid. Yikes. Fuck. That’s not good. But at the same time, Masahiko enters the picture about a week later.

After Sayaka hears about the new transfer student (and rumors about how handsome he is) both you and Yūdai are dragged down to the second year classroom under the guise of seeing how Miyako is holding up.

Which is a good thing. Because the moment you enter the classroom, you see Miyako chewing Masahiko out and yelling at him for sitting in Tomomi’s seat, the flowers and vase Miyako put there shattered on the ground, and Yuuki trying to amend the situation. The second years are a big class, that’s the only open seat. If they had two classrooms instead of one, he could be placed somewhere else, but they can’t now because it’s literally the only open seat. In an INCREDIBLY crowded classroom. 

Of course, Miyako is still stressed and angry and crying, and Masahiko is being a dick about it until Miyako throws something in his face and storms out of the classroom, past the MC and friends. Masahiko is only mildly perturbed by what Miyako was saying, and only shows it for a moment before playing it off as being disgusted by what she threw at him. 

So, next time, we’ll be talking about Masahiko! And a surprise guest?

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[putschki1969]

Favourite and least favourite kalafina songs?

Oh boy! Questions like this are always so hard for me. I have no trouble listing my faves but when it comes to my “least favourite songs” it’s a real struggle for me.Those who have known me for a while are probably aware that I am not the hating type. Haters are usually quick to provide a list of all the songs they consider to be “garbage”. But it’s not that easy for me. There might be songs I dislike but there is not a single piece of music by Kalafina that I outright “hate”. I don’t have it within myself to hate or bash something that Wakana, Keiko and Hikaru hold dear to their heart.

Having said that, there are a few pieces that I tend to skip whenever I listen to an album or watch a live performances. So I guess those will be the songs that make up my “least favourite list”. Typically what bothers me will be their “singing-style” (too high, too screechy, too thin/too breathy). Then there are songs that just lack a certain harmony, they sound disjointed to my ears. I don’t know what it is but it keeps me from fully enjoying the music. Last but not least there are songs that have just never managed to touch me on an emotional level. Maybe it’s because I haven’t listened to them often enough, not sure…

Please keep in mind that I do have a weird taste and more often than not my opinions do not align with the overall consensus in the fandom so some of my picks might come as a surprise to you. Without further ado, let’s get started 〈(•ˇ‿ˇ•)-→

Top 10 least favourite Kalafina songs (in chronological order)

Love Come Down (aside from not really liking the general sound of the song, I am not a fan of Hikaru’s singing style. Not very flattering and a tad too squeeky…Keiko’s cutesy singing doesn’t help)

in your eyes (in your eyes suffers from the same problem as Love Come Down but at least here I don’t mind the chorus and of course I appreciate the nature of the lyrics. If it weren’t for those lyrics we wouldn’t get all those sexy interactions on stage. But yeah, generally speaking, I don’t go out of my way to listen to this song)

to the beginning (this was probably their first “mainstream” anisong and incidentally it is among my least favourite. There are few Kalafina songs that get the audience as hyped as this one so I know I am pretty much alone with my opinion but yeah, this song doesn’t do much for me unfortunately…I never watched the anime so maybe that’s why)

signal (I know this is a fan favourite but for me this song is just too chaotic. I prefer my songs to follow a certain structure…also not a fan of the accordion…I do however love the drums in the beginning and Hikaru’s general badassery)

misterioso (I wouldn’t go as far as to call this song chaotic but it’s certainly lacking some sort of overreaching harmony. It just feels a little disjointed during certain parts, at least to me)

lapis (sorry Keiko, I wanna like it but I can’t. Something is missing, it’s a bit boring I guess…which is really surprising to me since I am a huge sucker for ballads. I am usually the one who is into all sorts of ballads [e.g.Hokage] which tend to be written off as boring by the rest of the fanbase)

ring your bell (I would probably like this song more if YK had written it differently. Right now it’s just too fast/difficult/high and neither Wakana nor Hikaru can manage those notes without sounding screechy. For the most part YK knew how to use their voices to create amazing music but occasionally I wonder what went through her head when she decided to have the girls sing in a certain way…it’s not flattering at all…on a brighter note,I do love the bridge!)

monochrome (the accordion again…and more chaos….you can see a pattern, right? There is a type of song that I really do not enjoy…which leads me right to the next song on my list…)

Musunde Hiraku (I wanna love it so bad because Wakana in particular loves this song so much. But unfortunately I can’t bring myself to like it. I don’t know what it is but for me it’s another one of those unsettling songs that feel kinda all over the place. I also just noticed that a lot of the songs I dislike have one thing in common, they don’t have a proper build-up, they start rather boldy and sudden, it almost sounds random. Not sure how to explain it but it applies to misterioso, signal, monochrome and Musunde Hiraku)

blaze (this doesn’t really deserve to be on the list since I don’t think it’s any worse than let’s say heavenly blue or One Light which I both like a lot. However, I haven’t been able to connect with the song at all ever since it was released. I think it’s mainly because I have never seen it performed live. Yes, I have watched footage but I have never actually been there for one of the performances. Plus, I think the song just doesn’t get enough attention from me. I am sure if I listened to it more often I would start appreciating it. It’s really not a bad song)

Top 10 favourite Kalafina songs (in chronological order)

Kimi ga Hikari ni Kaete Iku (does this even need any explanation? I think we all know that this is my all-time favourite Kala-song. I even plan to get a tattoo of parts of the lyrics one day…there are no words to describe the love I have for this song. Forever grateful that they sang it at their 10th Anniversary Live and that I got to hear Wakana perform the acoustic version at her symphony concert)

ARIA (it is without a doubt one of their best songs and it made me fall in love with Hikaru so for me it’s all the more special. Unlike most people, I actually prefer the “new” version of ARIA because there is just more emotion behind it. They really nailed it at their 10th Anniversary Live. Personally I like to use ARIA to introduce Kalafina to other people. It’s a great introduction song)

Natsu no Ringo (I don’t know the exact moment but at one point I realised how very much I love this song. It happened without me noticing. Don’t get me wrong, I always liked it but I never really considered it to be among my favourite songs. But throughout the years, I started listening to it more and more. Turns out that right now this is actually among my most-listened-to tracks on my playlist. Who would have thought…?)

red moon (duh…one of Kalafina’s most epic songs. How can it not be on this list? There is a reason it is loved by so many people and why they performed it at pretty much all of their lives. If there is one song that’s representative of the awesomeness that is Kalafina then it is “red moon”)

Magia (another epic song and one more example of why I love Hikaru. I know, I tend to favour Wakana and Keiko most of the time, I guess that boils down to personal taste. However, I have just as much love for Hikaru because with songs like this she manages to touch my heart with her passion and emotional delivery)

Yane no Mukou ni (just like Natsu no Ringo, this song snuck up on me. I always liked it but until recently I had no idea how much I actually loved it. Seems like I have a huge weakness for summer ballads)

Hikari Furu (the singing, the harmonies, the melody, the lyrics, this is a perfect ballad. A perfect song. Wakana is killing it in all the more recent performances. And I can never get enough of Keiko’s “mabushii asa”)

Tsuioku (instant love. When it first got released I listened to nothing but this song. All day long. It’s forever stuck in my head and I love it to death)

Koibito no Mukashigatari no Yuugure no (do I even have to say anything? Amazing harmonies, so much epicness. Seeing this live was life-changing)

Hokage (this must seem like the most random choice to a majority of the fandom. It’s one of those ballads that never got a lot of love because it’s apparently too much like all the previous Kalafina ballads but not as good as them. I beg to differ. There is something about Hokage that strikes me on a very emotional level. Not so much the lyrics because those are not all too special. It’s the melody that makes this song stand out to me. Then there’s Wakana’s singing and Keikio’s lower harmonies…absolutely divine. Last but not least, that combination of the piano and cello! I could listen to this song every day and not get tired of it. I agree that Hokage sounds a lot like some of their older songs [e.g. sapphire] and I honestly enjoy them all equally but for some reason Hokage has a special place in my heart)

Honourable mentions

sprinter (it’s no secret, I have never liked the regular version. A few years back this might as well have been part of my least favourite list. But when I watched their Arena Live acoustic version, I had an epiphany. Ever since then I can’t get enough of this song. It’s a tragic ballad at its heart but the up-beat nature of the original version managed to trick me into believing that it was something entirely different. It was my own fault for not looking up the lyrics sooner. Back in the day when I first listened to “sprinter” I didn’t know any Japanese and later on I always skipped the song…so yeah, it took me ages to appreciate the song and I definitely prefer the acoustic version so I thought I shouldn’t mention it in either of my lists)

Kagayaku Sora no Shijima ni Wa (this was my very first Kalafina song that immediately made me fall in love with them. It has a special place in my heart and I can never get enough of it but there are just other that I love more so it didn’t manage to get into my top 10)

We Wish You A Merry Christmas (since this is a cover I feel like it doesn’t really count but there is no way I cannot mention it because I absolutely ADORE this song. It has become my all-time favourite Christmas song and I am listening to it literally every season of the year)

Hyakka Ryouran (this is by far my favourite among their more “generic” anime theme songs but I might be a bit biased since it’s the only one where I provided a translation of the lyrics so I thought it would be best to list it here as part of my honourable mentions. Unlike most fans I do like a fair share of their mainstream anisongs. I actually love “heavenly blue” as well as “One Light”. And if it weren’t for Wakana’s strained singing style I would be all over “believe” because I really like the melody.)

[daegurp-blog]

WELCOME TO DAEGU !!

loading dossier on AHN MIRAE —— please be sure to take a look at the checklist before venturing around town.

BASIC STUFF.

FACECLAIM: kim chungha. MUSE’S NAME: ahn mirae. PRONOUNS: she/her. GENDER: cisgender female. AGE: twenty three.

PERSONALITY.

POSITIVE TRAITS: creative, ambitious, outgoing. NEGATIVE TRAITS: stubborn, reticent, perfectionist. MUSE AESTHETICS: the sound of the violin string as it hits its crescendo, cherry red lipstick upon plump lips, the soft patter of rain as it hits the concrete, the light of a full moon, and the sound of a bottle of champagne popping off. QUOTE: i still remember you as a little girl who overwaters plants because she doesn’t know when to stop giving.

BACKGROUND.

music was woven into every part of mirae’s childhood. her father was a prominent violin and cello player and her mother was mysteriously out of the picture by the time she gained her first memories in childhood. in truth, mirae’s mother had been a woman that her father had once had an affair with, an assistant of a sort but was unwilling to marry her or having anything to do with her after the birth of his daughter. with the sum of money he already had, he paid the woman off for her silence and the idea that she would never become involved in her daughter’s life. and for the longest time the woman would stick to that agreement.

mirae grew up attending a lot of her father’s orchestra practices and sometimes his shows, whenever he couldn’t be bothered to hire a babysitter or if she had one and forced them to let her watch and bask in the performance. she couldn’t help herself if she began to idolize her father back then. she wanted to be just like him, she wanted to play and perform and rise in the ranks of first chair just as he had. even as he became a partial owner of the orchestra and found his status and wealth rise in doing so. it meant that mirae was living the good life, wealth and luxury but with her kind nature and outgoing personality she refused to let it spoil her and let her think of anyone who wasn’t as affluent as anything less.

she begged her father to learn how to play and after school she had various lessons and tutoring in violin, piano, and singing. she practiced hard and long, oftentimes doing so outside of her lessons, she was always the girl who brought her violin to school, to after school activities, even to times hanging out with her friends because a part of her didn’t feel complete without it. mirae was active in choir and orchestra in her private school and she made sure to keep her academics up because anything less than perfection wasn’t something that her father would accept. that put a bit of a perfectionist streak in her growing up and it pushed her and pushed her and at times that meant her friendships and relationships failed or waned because she knew she had to be the best.

( trigger warning: mental illness ) it paved the way for an inevitable breakdown after her graduation from school. she had been pushing herself too hard in her final year, trying to secure scholarships with the best universities, taking classes for college credit even before leaving regular school. it forced her to take a gap year between private school and university. a year where she distanced herself from her music, her violin hidden away in her closet, the piano collecting dust and her father unsure what to do for her. he gave her doctors and medication and she was diagnosed with depression and partial anxiety. it would take her the full year to deal with it and find a way past it. but she realized she couldn’t let this defeat her, especially when she had dreams.

after that year, mirae pushed herself and applied to university, she was accepted into yeungnam university on a scholarship that gave her a full ride. she decided to major in musical theory and performance and she finally picked her violin back up and found herself again. since then she has made it to her final year of undergrad, and though he isn’t paying for her education at the moment, he is still supporting her through her living situation and expenses. he pays for her apartment and the like, which is definitely on a more affluent side of daegu. she’s been trying to distance herself from her father but it’s not easy when he still pays for things in her life.

she has a part-time at a music store that sells everything from old records to modern day cds from kpop groups and the like. she is trying to support herself, so that when she tries for master’s or doctorate in the musical arts. to be an even better violinist and part of an orchestra, maybe even travel the world with one. she wants to be more than the prodigy daughter of a renowned violinist in south korea, she wants to be known around the world if possible. she still deals with her mental health issues, but she tries to see a therapist when it gets bad. and as of recently, a woman has been trying to get in contact with her, whom she believes might just be her mother.

INTERVIEW.

1. what do you do for a living??

“i am currently a student at yeungnam university studying musical theory and performance. i play the violin, the piano, as well as sing. i also work part-time in a music store in daegu.”

2. how and where do you see yourself being in 5 years??

“in five years? i hope to have graduated from yeungnam with my master’s and maybe even a doctorate of musical arts. after that i want to be signed with a major performing orchestra in south korea if possible, just like my father.”

3. where do you fall on daegu’s societal hierarchy spectrum??

“considering my upbringing, i would consider myself upper class. my father still supports me even though i am working while in university, though i am going to a private university. i’ve tried not to look down on others because of my status and my father’s wealth as a result.”

4. how do you feel about where you personally fit in the social hierarchy of the town and what are your intentions because of this??

“i don’t think i’ve ever been one for politics of any kind. i know that my life was a bit easier because of my father, but i’ve tried to make something of myself. i want to one day be able to stand on my own and the like and i know i will have to do that by working hard. i know that the hierarchy may seem unfair but i don’t think anything could actually change that.”

5. what are your goals and aspirations for the future??

“like i said earlier, my goals revolve around finishing my time in university and setting a place for myself to be truly independent. i want to become part of a prominent orchestra if possible and maybe even surpass that of my father. i want to travel and play and do what i enjoy in life. and maybe one day once i’m known, i could spread music to kids, to encourage them to engage in it.”

[boyslaughplus]

Brassica Valentine's Day Special

Hello Tumblr! What a day to start this off! <3

Because it's Valentine's Day, we decided to release a little short story set in the Brassica universe. It takes place a few months before the game but aside from some recurring characters it's independent of the main story (though maybe not insignificant...)

If you haven't played the game, don't worry, this story doesn't need any knowledge of its plot. If you have played the game, you might appreciate some of the details and hopefully enjoy this story that is a little more Ode-centric than the currently released acts.

But without further ado, here's the Brassica Valentine's Special:

Walking into the room, it felt like entering another world. The festive decoration stretching through the entirety of the castle foyer, the exquisite looking food stacked on the tables in the main hall, and of course the colorful crowd of royals, dressed in extravagant suits, robes, and dresses—everything seemed to shimmer and gleam in the light of the chandeliers. Ode certainly wasn’t new to these kinds of events but he still experienced a mild culture shock whenever he attended.

His cousin, Lord Valentine of Barah, had once again invited him to one of his famous birthday parties, or Valentine’s Day as many people called them. It was an event that was famed for the bonds it created, both interpersonal and political, due to the gathering of many young royals and the chance to confess to a crush or to court someone you fancy. Valentine himself chose among about half of his guests a select few who were given a rose. This rose should then be given to someone else who caught your interest and it was looked down on people who left the event not having given away their rose. Similarly, not receiving one marked you as being socially inept, undesirable even as some harsh voices would put it.

Ode did not care much about this custom. Especially this time his mind was set on other matters because more than just attendance, gifts, and well wishes were expected of him: he had been asked to perform for all the guests.

His parents, the king and queen of Barah, liked to boast about Ode’s musical talents since he rarely concerned himself with politics and state affairs. Ode didn’t like to play the role of a musician, less so that of a performer. He liked music and singing, but his audience was usually just the local wildlife and his best friend Friedrich. And that was it. He had never meant to make music a defining part of his public persona.

Even so, Ode didn’t mind the request. If his cousin wanted to hear him sing, he would gladly rise to the occasion. Or so the prince thought before he arrived. Now that he was amidst the cheerful crowd that was basking in the joy and the glory of attending an event as high-class as this one, Ode couldn’t help but nervously eye the stage he would soon be on, under the piercing gazes of everyone in the room.

Searching for his cousin to give his regards and discuss the details of his performance, the young prince of Barah looked around the hall. But with little success. It surely didn’t help that this was a masquerade ball!

In his search for Valentine, Ode passed many eccentric figures. Among them, a dashing royal in a dark suit embroidered with gold and complemented by his long turquoise hair and the rainbow of colors that was his crystal covered mask. A large group of what seemed to be avid admirers, flocked to the man and Ode made sure to steer clear of them as he rarely fared well with such people. He could still hear them laugh as he passed the vegetarian side of the buffet where a lone, lean, golden figure stood. Between most other outfits his wide pants almost seemed exotic though they were still overshadowed by his lack of shoes.

“What a bold choice for a ball in February,” Ode thought to himself.

Taking another look at the dainty royal’s outfit and his mask full of triangular ornaments, Ode wondered where he might have come from to be dressed this way. But there were more pressing matters at hand!

His search continued for a while and subdued the nervousness regarding his performance. When he finally found Valentine, the festivities were already well underway, and it didn’t take long until Ode found himself behind the stage, talking to the string quartet that had already been playing for most of the evening. Now too they would provide the backdrop for his song. A ballad that had resonated deeply with Ode and so he wanted to recite it this evening. Clutching his flute to his chest and with a pounding heart, Ode walked onto the stage to Valentine’s excited announcement.

For a moment he looked at the audience that was quieting down, their expectant gazes locked onto the tall prince who was more than glad to be wearing a mask himself right now.

His nervousness spiked briefly before disappearing completely once the sound of a cello resonated through the hall, indicating the start of the song.

It was the first time they performed it together, but the string quartet was well practiced and it didn’t take long before Ode went along with their rhythm. Unsteady as his flute play was sometimes, Ode had also been told it had character. He stopped to think and just played without worry; A melody a little solemn, if hopeful, he thought, to preface the first verse.

O friends, now I see, the morning draws near The moon looks upon us and all we hold dear

How we will part ways, nobody could say, How long we have left, no one could explain

The end though ’tis sure, is nothing to fear.

We sing and we dance despite illness and death Make most of the time until our last breath

When lost and in pain, we shall not lose hope, Stay resolute still at the end of our rope

’Cause as long as we breathe, there’s still some time left.

The deep voice of Barah’s youngest prince carried well throughout the room and by the time the next verse came around, Ode had nearly forgotten there were other people present, simply getting lost in the song.

But before too long it came to an end and for what felt like forever, the audience stayed quiet. Whispers began to spread among the guests and Ode could feel a wave of tension sweep through the entire hall.

Just then a thought entered the prince’s mind. Had this song really been suitable for such a celebration? What if he just embarrassed himself… his cousin… his kingdom? Lord Valentine initiated a polite if quiet applause as he took the stage.

“My dear cousin, the fledgling prince of Barah, everyone! Now after such a… unique performance, how about we welcome tonight’s main act? I’m sure you have all heard the tales of the bard who single-handedly—”

Ode felt his fears confirmed as he was led off the stage. He really didn’t like gatherings where people valued tact above genuineness. Where a single misstep could mean one’s social death. Had he cared more about the opinions of others, he might have been glum, but seeing Valentine trying intently to salvage the mood of his guests still made him feel like a disappointment.

The prince walked down the room, hearing the whispers and quiet sneers of other Royals behind him as he passed their tables.

Ode needed fresh air.

He left the hall just as the bard began to play and immediately felt relief as he stepped into the cold evening air. This wouldn’t have happened had he sung for the animals. At least they didn’t judge him and appreciated whatever he sang as long as it had heart!

Once he returned home, his parents would surely berate him for tonight’s events. If he could, Ode would just let go of all etiquette and responsibilities and leave the royal world. But whenever he came close to actually doing so, Friedrich told him to reconsider. Told him he was being rash.

Now was another of those moments. Anger rose within Ode that nobody seemed to have cared about his intentions. That nobody seemed to have seen what Ode saw in the song and instead focused only on its melancholic exterior. Without his friend to talk to him, the prince took off his mask, sat down on a bench in the gardens, trying his best to calm down on his own.

Though he would only stay alone for a short moment.

Soon Ode could hear the footsteps of someone else approaching in the distance. They came ever closer before abruptly stopping just behind him.

“Oh… hello. You are Prince Ode, correct?”

The mellow voice enchanted Ode immediately. He turned around and saw a slender, red-haired woman in an elegant dress decorated all over with pearls and flowers.

“Y-yes. That is correct lady, uh—” he hesitantly replied, wondering why she would want to talk to him.

“Sappho. Though you might know me as Seraphina of Radix.”

Indeed, he had heard of her, the crown princess of Barah’s most powerful neighbor land. Although he had never imagined that the heiress of such a mighty kingdom would look so delicate and sweet.

“Don’t you want to listen to the bard, Princess Sappho?”

She snickered and sat down next to Ode.

“Oh no. I needed to go outside for a bit. I have little patience for such mindless racket.”

Ode’s heart jumped at hearing this. Was he maybe not alone in this after all?

“I see. I feel much the same way! Although this wasn’t the main reason I left…”

He stayed silent for a moment, trying his best not to think about the political consequences this conversation could have should he mess up again.

It wasn’t by any means an uncomfortable silence, but to his relief Princess Sappho broke it soon, anyway.

“Well, I have to say I enjoyed your little performance earlier. Genuinely, I mean.” The princess took off her shimmering, cat-like mask before continuing as Ode got lost in the gaze of her bright eyes.

“Few people would have had the courage to perform it here, let alone do so from the bottom of their heart.”

The last thing Ode had expected to be met with this evening was kindness, and he smiled enthusiastically at Sappho, feeling the confidence to openly speak his mind.

“Thank you, Princess Sappho! I was worried that I made a mistake, but your words reaffirm me that the others’ reaction was not my fault! Although… Maybe I am nonetheless unfit for such festivities.”

The princess laughed.

“So what? I have talked with many a royal tonight, but this is the first enjoyable conversation I had. Just because you are not like the rest, you are not any less valid! Contrary so. You should be proud of yourself, Prince Ode!”

Never before had Ode experienced anything like ‘love’. Not in the way it was always sung about. But this very moment he thought he had gotten a glimpse of what it was like. As this realization set in, he took a deep breath to respond to the princess just to be cut short when she continued once more.

“But anyway, I’d happily go on with this conversation but I’m afraid I have to go. There is someone who is waiting for me right now and I cannot spare much more time.”

She stood up, turned to the prince and held out a rose towards him. The one she was supposed to give to someone special. Prince Ode could hardly believe it.

“Farewell Ode. I’m sure we will meet again some day.”

Hastily, Ode straightened his back and gratefully accepted the rose, looking at the princess with a multitude of feelings he could not yet fathom entirely. One of them disappointment that she was already about to leave.

“Farewell Princess Sappho! And thank you!”

A smile flashed on the Princess’s face just long enough that Ode could feel her grasp on his heart tighten. She turned around and walked away further down the path she had come from.

Ode watched her disappear in the shadows of the garden and just now noticed the quickened tempo of his heartbeat.

Long after she had left, Princess Sappho was still ever present in the prince’s mind. For a while he stayed outside, lost in his thoughts and the stars shining brightly above him.

It truly was the most special Valentine’s Day he had ever experienced. Full of determination, Ode made a silent vow. He would see her again.

And he would act upon the feelings that stirred up inside of him that day. For they were far too precious to leave alone.

[pixiealtaira]

Checking It Twice

Hummel Holidays day 19: shopping 2016

pairing: Kadam of course...

“What do you want for Christmas, Adam?” Kurt called from the kitchen as he was making lunch one afternoon.

“It’s August.  I haven’t thought about it.”

“Can you think about it so I can finish my shopping list?  I mean I know I’ll have to add some things closer to Christmas, but I’d like my main shopping done by the start of October.”

“You’re doing your Christmas shopping now?” Adam asked.

Kurt snorted.  He came out and stood next to where Adam had been working on a paper.

“I started my Christmas shopping for this Christmas on the 26th of December last Christmas.” Kurt said. “I get better deals this way.  In May, I found 80 dollar cashmere scarves on sale for 6 bucks…men’s scarves.  They also had hats and gloves, good gloves, on sale as well.  And 90 dollar women’s basic longer length cable knit sweaters in nice solid colors…for 2 bucks.  No snags or holes or anything…just out of season.  But Carole doesn’t care and neither do most girls I know, so those were a great find.  And I got the Kitchen aid mixer Carole’s been wanting…for 1/3 the price because the color is now out of fashion.”

“Well, there are some board games I’d like to get…and I’ve been wanting to pick up my cello again but I need lessons and haven’t gotten around to getting those.  And my cello won’t be getting here until Christmas when it comes with my family.  Oh…my family will be here, so tickets to things we could do.”

“Your family will be here?” Kurt said quietly.

“Yes.  Remember, I asked if you were staying so you could meet them?”

Kurt nodded.

“I think I thought you meant over Skype or something.  I need names and likes and lists, Adam. I need lists!  Who will be here?  Who is staying in England?  Sizes? Colors they look good in? Allergies?  Kids?  Kids will need presents under the tree.”  Kurt was sounding more and more frantic as he went on.

“Darling, Hush now!” Adam said.

Kurt stopped and breathed deeply.

“It’s just…I have to make a good impression, Adam.  I love you…and if they don’t like me, then what?” Kurt asked.

Adam smiled and pulled Kurt down to him, kissing him deeply before pulling back and kissing Kurt’s nose. “I would tell them all where to go. I love you and my family’s opinion won’t change that. Got it?”

Kurt nodded. “Got it.”

“Grab a pencil…and some paper.” Adam said, pushing Kurt up again.  He waited until Kurt was back with a notebook and pulled Kurt into his lap fully.  “Now, number one…everyone is flying in so not a lot of things or a lot of big things. I’d tell you nothing at all, but I know you my dear…and that would not happen.”

“Hey!”

“Can you actually convince me otherwise?”

Kurt shook his head.

“I thought not. Number two...you, my love, are helping me entertain them for TWO WEEKS…consider that.”

Kurt nodded.

“And finally…my family already adores you because I believe you hang the moon and the stars and that the sun revolves around you. You wouldn’t need to get them anything. However…my family are such huge tourists.  Seriously…get them all New York things and everyone would be happy.  Anything with New York splattered across it.”

Kurt glared at Adam, who laughed.

“You can glare at me now…but when the littles are looking at you asking for a New York bottle opener…you’ll see.”

“Bottle opener?” Kurt asked.

Adam nodded. “It had an apple on it.  Their mother intervened…it was pokey.”

Kurt laughed.

“So…who will be here?”

“My mother and father, my grandparents, and two of three siblings and their families.  Ava is the only one who will not be able to make it.” Adam said.

“Ava is the one closest in age to you, right?” Kurt asked.

“Yes, she is taking classes during the winter break. She is two years younger than me.”

“Close to my age, then?”

Adam nodded. “Emily is four years older than me and she has three kids.  Twins, Piper and Philippa and  Thor.  Thor is about a year and half…and the twins turn four in January.  Her husband is Ashton. Paul is seven years older than me. He has Evelyn who is seven and Joselyn who is five.  They are from his first marriage.  His current wife is Pansy.  She brought with her Luke.  He is seven as well.  They have Briar, who is maybe 6 months…but I don’t think even that old…and they’ve been married three months.”

“Is Paul’s first wife in the picture?”

“No.  They were divorced when she died though…and the girls hadn’t even lived with her alone.  She died here in the states from a drug overdose.  She left Paul only a few months after Joselyn was born…just took off one day.  There is actually a wife between the girls’ mum and Pansy…but they didn’t have kids.”

“What do the kids like?”

“Evelyn loves to read. She asked for those American Girls books?  I don’t know what they are…”

“Historical fiction.  They have dolls, too.  They wear period clothing, sort of.”

“Anyway…she is fascinated with those.  Last I knew, all Joselyn liked was swords. I’ll have to ask my mum if her tastes have broadened. Luke hates everything. Piper and Philippa I have no idea about other than Philippa will only wear yellows and purples and black and jeans. Piper wears everything.  Not a clue about Thor…they were here last December but Thor was not even sitting up on his own yet.  He is no longer bald.  That I do know.  I’m not sure I’ve even seen more than one picture of Briar…and that was right after she was born. Pansy is high maintenance. Paul is just high strung…that one needs a real vacation. Ashton’s a bit of a snob and Emily is just….Emily.”

“What ever does that mean?”

“She would say that she is forgettable.  She isn’t very good at anything or very bad at anything.  She isn’t ugly or beautiful.  Just is just average in all she does.  Emily manages…she manages her family and mom and dad and the grandparents and clubs and community gatherings and parties and events.  And she organizes.  A bit like you in that area.  I bet she has her shopping nearly done as well.”

Kurt nodded and wrote down notes of everything Adam had told him.

“I suppose it is good that I have Black Friday between now and your family visiting.  Now…about your folks and grandparents…those might even be more important that your siblings and their kids.”

“My Nan is a bit…chipper. Much to chipper for her own good or anyone else’s really.  Da says she was always that way and people had just best get used to it and don’t ever make her cry because it breaks everyone’s hearts until she is cheery again.  She likes chocolate, but not American so don’t go with that.  She likes warm and soft and fizzy things and paints and scrapbooks in an elaborate fashion.   Pops likes gardening and has a small professional photography business.  He takes photos of people’s pets.  Rarely people.  My father is of course a barrister and plays in the symphony orchestra. Da likes darts and would like to go bowling while here and also try out laser tag.”

Kurt chuckled.

“My mum likes quilting and singing, but she does neither very well.  She is good at cooking and works at a local bakery. She wants to be that Duff cake guy when she grows up…her words not mine.  She is an avid reader and will read pretty much anything. Her father is a retired professor and taught anthropology.  He specialized in the Romans.  Her mother taught as well, in primary school to the littlest ones.  She likes Darts and is a card shark.  They go gambling at least twice a year somewhere and my grandmother almost always comes home with more than they went with.”

Kurt smiled.

“They sound nice.”

“They sound a wee bit nuts, because they are.  But they already adore you and will love you completely before they go home…and then drag you with us on next summer’s excursion. Mother wants to go to a rodeo…and all the grandparents want to see some of the more famous national parks. They’ve been saving for years and years.”

Kurt laughed.

“I’ve never been to any of them. It could be fun.”

“We’ll have to hike with youngsters and buy souvenirs.”

“We should see if my dad and Carole want to go to, if your family still likes me at the end of the two weeks.  He’s always wanted to go to Mount Rushmore and Yellowstone.”

Adam beamed. “That would be wonderful.”

“So…will you help me with the shopping for them?”

“Of course, love.  I actually adore shopping with you.”

Kurt beamed.  “Now, what do you want for Christmas?”

Adam laughed.

“You, and a stocking full of goodies just for us and a hide away to play with them for a week…but that will have to wait for after Christmas…so…all I want for Christmas is you.” Adam sang the last bit to Kurt.

Kurt groaned. “Cheesy, my dear heart.  Now you are getting socks and underwear.”

Adam pulled Kurt in for more kissing.  “Don’t care if I have you, too.  Is lunch done?  Or rather…can lunch be postponed until…oh…a few hours from now…after we have retired to the bed for playtime and then come back out?”

Kurt smiled.  “I was just making sandwiches and they can be put in the fridge.  Let me up and I’ll meet you in the bedroom.  We should have a more in depth discussion about what you’d like in your stocking after all.”

Adam released Kurt and watched as he sauntered to the kitchen.  He saved his paper and raced to the bedroom…he had a few examples of things he’d like in his stocking to find before Kurt joined him.